Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

“Ashley Rosé!”

After leaving the woods and arriving at my palace, I heard someone call for me. When I turned my head around, a familiar figure was running towards me.

“Heok, heok.”

“Fleon?”

His back rose steeply before descending and rising again. Fleon who had his waist bent raised only his head.

“You! You’ve gone mad, haven’t you? Because if you’re not! Where did you come from?”

His tunic was in a mess. Sir Ray could be seen behind Fleon. He did not seem to have any trouble with his breathing and looked like his usual self.

On the contrary, it was Fleon who was acting unlike himself.

“You should catch your breath first.”

“No need!”

Fleon was an unshakable person. He was someone who took himself for granted.

He then loosened his collar roughly before grabbing onto his headpiece. Now that I was looking closer, his cheeks and eyes were red.

“Say something. Give some explanation for this situation!”

He was like a bull with a lot of horns. I stared at my brother fiercely who was pushing me for an answer before blocking his mouth.

“Urp!”

“Relax a little.”

My brother grabbed my hand before removing it and shaking his head coolly.

“Do you think I can relax? You thoughtless little girl. Where did you come from!”

“… Are you talking about the Empress’ symposium?”

“Yes!”

I had seen Fleon angry countless of times before but this felt different. It was different from how he would usually run off on his emotions. He looked like a confused mess.

“I already told you the party would start early! This is all because you didn’t do as you were told. Do you know how surprised me and that guy was? You wretched chick. You think so little of my words?”

As he exploded like a thunderbolt bitterly in front of me, I listened quietly. Fleon stopped talking for a moment as if he was catching his breath before continuing fiercely.

“Do you know what kind of place you were at today? Because I’m so weak, I’m at best only a party decoration.”

“Dane and I have no power too, brother.”

“Yeah. We’re all in the dame damned boat. But you’re different? Couldn’t you tell from today?”

I stopped talking for a moment. Opening his sharp blue eyes, Fleon added.

“People were judging you based on your face. We live in a goddamned world where women are meant to be pretty. Especially because you’re a princess.”

The hand that was holding my shoulder trembled. Just as I thought, even though the women were whispering amongst themselves, they were too loud. Since he had tried to run towards me, he heard what they said better than anyone else.

“I don’t like it. Why should you have to hear that? But we are Imperial children. You can’t be protected forever.”

Even at this moment, his eyes did not lose their arrogance. But I had been observing him for a long time now and I knew he had been shaking nonstop. He seemed to want to hide his condition. Seeing as we could tell how each other was doing even when we did not want to, we really must be brother and sister.

“Do you know what kind of ridicule I have to suffer through whenever I attend a banquet? They call me ‘A Flower without Scent’ because I never had the abilities to become a templar. Even though my mother is the heir to the Temple of Vulcanus. The blessed land was supporting me. After my maternal grandfather and then my mother passes away, although I’m not a Templar of Vulcanus, I will still inherit the temple. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

Fleon pressed his eyes shut before opening his lips.

“I’m an attractive bait.”

“Bait?”

“Yes bait. Anyone who marries me would most likely be able to give birth to a strong templar. As a bonus, they will also receive great land and wealth from Vulcanus. They don’t see me for ‘me’. They only see me for Vulcanus’ name.”

After covering his face, he smiled sharply.

“I didn’t want to bring you to such a world.”

“Fleon.”

“I can’t bring you to that world, to that damned place. I tried to prevent that from happening with Dane. So you would not have to take any position for 17 years. He and I took all the attention.”

“So all this time…”

“Me and that guy, would we have been happy if you were to suddenly appear there?”

He smiled to himself.

“And you are erasing our efforts. And at once too. You little brat.”

I remember going to the zoo with my dad from my previous life. I wanted to see the lion since it was the king of animals so I let go of my dad’s hand and went to see the lion myself. It was not until I realised I was alone without my dad did I burst into tears. Fleon’s face right now reminded me of my dad’s face as he sprinted towards me then.

“Who told you not to listen to your dad’s words and go off on your own?”

Dad got bitterly furious. I was so surprised to see my dad searching for me till he looked out of his mind that I burst into tears. Shocked to see me burst into tears, my dad hugged me tightly.

“Damn it… Ashley.”

He was worried. Very very worried.

“You could have stayed in our arms at least till you’re 17. But you’re a chick that really doesn’t listen… Why can’t you just stay in our arms…”

The way he wrapped his hand around my wrist brought me back to the days when I was a child. His heat filled the sweat soaked air as his back moved up and down. He reminded me of my father who was always so sweet though he was sick.

I loved my dad very much. And dad loved me more than that. I could feel his short breaths on the tip of my head. My brother made me feel nostalgic about my past.

He had always been arrogant and unruly. He always spoke as if nothing could stop him. No, perhaps Fleon had been hiding from me this whole time.

Fleon was revealing a wound that he had never talked about before and pressing me with it.

The moon was large and bright today so even though there were no lights around us, the front of the palace still remained bright. And Fleon was looking breathtakingly beautiful.

All the buttons on his tunic had fallen off and the remaining one had a roaring beast embossed on it. The beast looked like a wolf or an animal that resembled it. It suited this moonlit night. I then remembered that the animal Vulcanus loved the most was a wolf that embraced fire.

“Ashley Rosé.”

My brother slowly called my name.

“I swore with that guy. That I’ll protect you.”

The moonlight softly danced around the sharp lines defining his face.

“Tell me if you hate it all. Then I’ll let you leave.”

“… Leave?”

“The Temple of Vulcanus is a sacred piece of land. For 2000 years, only those who were allowed to enter had access to it. It’ll have no problems hiding you.”

“I cannot understand. What the hell are you thinking about?”

“I don’t know how you became a brat with so many secrets.”

He stared at me seriously.

“You have a lot of secrets. Even if I ask you to tell me, you will never let me know because you’re not a very good little sister. But I can’t stand seeing you be dragged around like Dane and I.”

“Fleon.”

“Leave. Far from here.”

“Fleon!”

He swept his gray hair up roughly.

“Please listen to me. If you run away from your duties, neither he nor I will blame you for doing so. I’ll take responsibility for what you left behind. Right, I’ll take great care of your maids for the rest of their life till they die of old age. I’ll do everything for you so leave. Please.”

“… Fleon.”

I blinked for a moment before twisting my wrist to pull out of Fleon’s grip. However, he caught my hand again.

“My mother pitied you. Your maids didn’t know their place and dared to feel sorry for you. What about the noble you met today? They mocked you right in front of your face and hated you.”

“Fleon. Brother!”

“Everyone you’ll meet from now on will be like this. What’s the point of living in a world where there’s nothing but pity and disgust? After living like that, you’ll definitely leave us one day. As someone’s wife. I… alright. I don’t think that the emperor or the Crown Prince will be able to find the right husband for you.”

I called his name one more time. He did not reply.

Only then did I realise. I had moved up my debutante to live. But my decision did not take my brothers into regard. I put an early end to the world they wanted me to live in.

But Fleon confessed that he and Dane were the walls surrounding me.

The diary ruined everything.

‘If I haven’t had the diary.’

I might have grown ignorant about everything and forgotten about my reincarnation and my past life. Ah!

Even though there were so many things I wanted to resent, I could not bring myself to do it.

“Hannah, what day is it today?”

“Today’s the 8th day of the month of Habermia, princess!”

When I died and came back to life, I faced the world as I did the first time.

“Today, you’ll be having your favourite strawberry shortcake, princess!”

Even if I would get ruined as a result, I wanted to maintain peace.

My life was ruined once I found the diary. Every time I died and tore my flesh, I became increasingly ruined like a broken doll. Why was I struggling to live till the end? Why did I give up hope?

‘To rediscover the days I was happy.’

Of course. I was a human being as well. I wanted to live. I wanted to be happy. Why was my life so unfortunate? I did not even want to be reincarnated in the first place. I did not need to be part of some novel or know the future at all. I just…

‘I wanted to go back to the time I could just eat delicious food as I sipped a cup of tea with my brothers by my side.’

But things had changed too much. There was no turning back.

When I opened my eyes again, Fleon looked troubled. I smiled slowly but slightly.

It seemed like I understood now. My broken world was still in fact as sweet as spring. Unaware of how his affection was affecting me, I trembled.

I raised my head slowly. All I wanted to say at this moment was simple.

“You’re grabbing me too hard. It hurts.”

Fleon’s lips pursed at my words. When I felt the grip around my hand loosen, I smiled brightly.

“Don’t try to bear everything yourself. I’m an adult now. So it’s alright if you don’t cover for me.”

“…..”

There was no use struggling and regretting. If I regretted my choices, I would only lose what I had now.

Just like Fleon said, I could feel better if I just ran away. BUt how long will that relief last?

Leaving for somewhere far away would not make the diary disappear. Though I could change the future, I could not do anything about the past. I was not strong enough to leave my loved ones behind like that. If any of the people precious to me appeared in the diary, I would feel resentment even if I was far away.

“Let’s share the burden.”

‘Someone had said before that it was sad to know all the things you didn’t know before once you became an adult once you become one.’

Dane and Fleon had tried to protect me for 17 years. Even when I was broken and was busy enough taking care of myself, they were still protecting me.

My spring had already existed back when I had yet to realise.

There was already spring in my world.

“Thank you.”

Perhaps I was going to become an adult once more now.

T/N:

SORRY ITS LATE AGN.