Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

“It’s alright.”

I pulled his hand back. Just like the pear blossoms that were about to bloom, he smiled as bright as those white flowers. Even though his hand was dirty and disgusting, I needed to survive without a hitch.

“It’s alright, brother.”

His touch was instinctively gentle. The only way I could survive the cruel tyrant would be to act like an idiot by speaking stupid words and acting foolishly over a long period of time.

I wanted to return to my palace without a hitch.

“You just tried to protect me, didn’t you?”

It was not until I thoughtlessly brought his hand to my cheek that I realised that he had a strange expression on his face. At that moment, I froze along with him.

The tyrant in front of me was as stiff as a fiddle. For the first time, I saw him wavering.

“… Right.”

His fingers moved slowly. His touch tickled across my cheek. His movements were so subtle and so slow.

“Haha.”

In an instant, the tyrant grabbed my hand.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“… I-if I had been, I wouldn’t have grabbed your hand.”

He smiled casually making me wonder if he could ever smile like that before.

“What sweet words, Ashley.”

I did not know what kind of expressions he was wearing. How should I act to help myself now?

Seeing him melt like that made me waver. He then slowly shifted my gaze. I unknowingly followed his gaze before screaming inside. I was still holding my diary.

“This?”

“T-that’s my diary!”

No. Do not pick it up. No!

But the cries I had within did not reach my mouth as my diary fell helplessly into Castor’s hands. And then, he finally flipped my diary open.

The diary was then illuminated by an intense purple light.

Chiik. Crash!

With a small groan, he recoiled from the light and dropped the book. I was pretty sure I heard something like lightning. (1)

“Brother!”

The purple light which was as brilliant as a violet’s wrapped all over the diary before disappeared.

I blinked at what happened before slowly picking up my diary. Strangely, nothing happened when I grabbed it.

Did the diary have some owner recognition function? Was it locked? But that did not happen when Hannah touched it,

‘Don’t tell me, it reacts to templars?’

The light had dimmed but when I looked a bit closer, I could barely see a faint coat of light. Just then, Castor wrapped his injured hand with his other before looking down at the diary coolly.

The heat filled pleasure engulfed me.

“… A-are you alright? Brother?”

“Of course.”

His hands did not look alright at all. The hand that grabbed the diary was a mess. But when I dropped my gaze to his wound, his wound slowly began to heal as light flashed from his pupils.

“Ashley, I’ll show you mercy and tell you.”

He slowly clenched his once injured hands before stretching them out and clenching them again. He looked back at me.

“That’s an artifact.”

“An artifact?”

“That’s right. Objects that have god’s powers imbued within it.”

The way he arrogantly looked down was distinctively elegant and listless at the same time.

“That item is closely related to the ‘Templar of Chaos’. It will never be good for you if you have it for too long.”

The templar of chaos? As I stared at Castor who rarely gave advice, I felt a sudden rattling sensation.

Obviously, that was the term Castor spat out when he came to my palace and stated my sins.

“As the body representing the Empire, I shall now condemn you for your crimes. Your sin of interacting with the Templar of Chaos which had been deemed forbidden.” (2)

So that was an actual crime? My birth mother had left things that could be seen as treacherous too carelessly. I mean, it was too easy for me to find it. At that moment, I got goosebumps.

“I-I-Is it dangerous? It’s just my diary…”

He smiled softly.

“Is it really a simple diary?”

“…..”

As if he was prophesying, his slow, listless yet sure voice had penetrated my ears.

“Where did you find this?”

“M-my mother’s room…”

Castor had the ability to seduce people and pry the truth out of them. Until I became immune to his powers, he would continue to detect my lies. It was not until my last 10 regressions did I become immune to his powers. It was a splendid skill I obtained from dying so many times.

“Ashley, you don’t have to be scared. I won’t kill you for the sins of the past.”

His rapturous voice that entered my ears managed to guess what I was thinking.

“… Really?”

I stared at him blankly as if he had just dealt a blow on my face. His voice as he said he would not kill me was low.

“Alright.”

The moonlight streaming faintly through the leaves shone on his brilliant golden eyes. Even in such dim light, I could tell I was encountering a beauty I would never be able to otherwise unless I was meeting a god themself.

I whispered lowly as my voice muffled.

“T-then why, two years ago,… did you try to kill me?”

He took Soricks hostage and tried to kill me.

“Oh that, did Hernan not explain to you?”

Under the moonlight, he leaned his head forward before looking at me with the most captivating smile.

“I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

Even with the same face he had two years ago, he had become an even more inscrutable human being.

“…..”

“If you had been surprised, then alright. I’ll apologise.”

I was so angry. Were apologies this easy to him? Did he not think much about how he tried to kill me? How funny. So, this was how much my death affected him. I was left in pain. Whenever I met him in my vicious nightmares, I could feel the pain from back then twisting me, squeezing me and digging into me like a skewer.

“His Highness’ sword had no intentions of killing.”

I did not know back then, I thought if he pointed his sword at me, he wanted to kill me. Or at least, he was threatening me with that level of intensity.

I would wake up sobbing every time I saw my maids drenched in blood in my nightmares. I was sorry for being unable to protect them. I was sorry for letting them die. I had sobbed for a long time, holding my eyes that could not shed tears. It remained my bittermost regret that such sweet people was to die in my hands.

Even if I were to survive day by day, I feared that it would be useless if I had to face Castor one day. That was something I gave up first. But there were people who continued to watch over me as I broke and people who tried to keep me intact.

“I swore with that guy,. That I’ll protect you.”

At every moment of my life, I was merely a little boat drifting in the mercy of the sea and winds. I was a powerless ship, without a hitch or a sail, being eaten with the anxiety of not knowing when I might flip over.

But those people still loved me and sacrificed themselves to protect me until this very moment.

So that was why they reached out to me and rescued me.

I was no longer confused. I did not have to suffer anymore.

I did not do anything wrong.

It took too long for me to realise this.

“Brother.”

I held his hand to my cheek before smiling brighter and more hopefully.

“Rebecca told me. Remember, you took off my bandage today. I heard it was because you were protecting me? So that the rest of the nobles could not say anything back to me. I didn’t know anything back then.”

“The Dame of Aventa?”

“Yes.”

I subtly interrupted him before smiling gently. I was hoping he would answer this question honestly.

“Seriously, was brother protecting me?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Castor stared at me with subtle emotions.

“I want sincerity.”

“Sincerity?”

“Brother’s sincerity.”

HIs firm jaw faced the sky before slowly lowering to face me.

“My true feelings that even the emperor has not even heard.”

His black strands of hair fell over his forehead. HIs eyes were scattering brilliant golden colours as a gold haze lingered around his face. His weird yet familiar powers wrapped around me like a rope.

His sensual yet merciless eyes. The future tyrant. He smiled slowly.

“How funny. If I said I did that to protect you, will you believe me?”

As soon as we made eye contact, emotions that were surprisingly yet suffocatingly sweet were pouring into me. I should not be swept along.

All these impossible feelings I was experiencing were all a result of his powers. I persevered under his gaze and expression, enduring the brainwashing he was forcing upon me.

Eventually, he blinked his eyes before smiling broadly that held no suspicions at all.

“I like you, brother.”

I held his hand before whispering softly.

“I’m on brother’s side so of course you would be on my side as well.”

His beast-like eyes scanned me from place to place trying to catch my innermost feelings. He raised his eyebrows. The emotions within me grew stronger until staring at his golden eyes hurt and as the golden haze continued to swirl. I could hear someone sing-songing. He seemed to be treating me like a child as he tried to threaten me like a loan shark by imbuing me with these emotions.

“Do you really think that?”

Castor slowly shifted his gaze before staring back at me.

“Why are you asking when this is obvious?”

“Ha. Hahaha. Hahaha.”

Castor burst into laughter.

“If that’s really true.”

He erased his expression for a moment.

“You’re the first person who still wants to be on my side after understanding me.”

He whispered seductively as he rounded his eyes. I tilted my head before staring at him like some child. As if I did not know the reason why he was laughing.

Objectively, his face and voice were both qualified to star in romance dramas. If he were to whisper ‘I love you’ in such a languid voice, who could resist? But I was not asking to shoot a drama with this tyrant.

In reality, he was a brutal tyrant living in my world and not some male lead in a romance drama. He was like a lawyer sent to save the 2nd generation chaebol from a lawsuit after he slapped someone. I wanted to thrust a dagger containing all my determination and pure resentment for killing jme.

I wanted him to be as unhappy as I was.

“Brother… you must be an outcast.”

I laid my eyes on him as if I felt sorry for him before smiling at him pitifully as I made eye contact with him.

“You must have been lonely, brother.”

I managed to pull off this abominable performance as I whispered in his arms like a little bird.

“Brother, I’ll always be on your side.”

“…..”

Castor looked at me before flashing me a smile that reminded me of the moon. His large hand lifted my chin. I stared back obediently with a gentle expression.

“You’ll regret it though?”

Was he going to make me sick and tired of him?

“How could I?”

I wanted him to die and suffer as much as I did.

I flashed a broad smile as I stared at him.

“I mean what I said without a shred of a lie.”

T/N:

(1): HAHA I think they meant thunder here but I stuck to the raws

(2): Take note! This will be my new translation for the line