Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

“Ahn. How do you feel right now?”

He gave a low whisper. I tilted my head.

“I don’t know… why you’re asking.”

It felt like someone poured a glass of cold water on me.

“Because it looks like you’re really angry.”

Was I? I could not tell. It was only for a moment but I really did want to get angry. Because it felt as if someone pushed me off the cliff just when I thought I succeeded. However, there was no reason for me to be angry.

“Lies. It’s so dark in here but you say you can see me? You can’t even see my face.”

“I can. I’m a templar.”

Only a child would get agitated this easily. They would not know their limits and play till they drop, only for them to get a fever the next day. Just like a child, I was paying the price for not knowing my limits because I was young and inexperienced.

“There’s many things I can do since I’m a very dangerous templar. I can destroy buildings, I can kill everyone in the square at one go… and I can see you clearly as well.”

I was so elated with the freedom suddenly handed to me that I had forgotten who he was and who I am. I had wanted to forget about the situation I was in.

“Even your face that looks like it’s going to break out into tears soon.”

Lies. It would be impossible for me to suddenly burst into tears just because my appearance changed.

“… You even have the nerve to lie.”

“Well, am I lying?”

The hand that brushed against me removed my cape. It was dark but I could tell he was getting closer.

“Ahn.”

He whispered in a hushed tone.

“Think about why I’m going through this much trouble. Why did I save you, Ahn?”

HIs voice turned soft before I realised it.

“I-I don’t know.”

I still did not know why he was being so sweet to me.

I did not know why this man who used to be just a bystander changed but I could no longer guess his intentions that seemed to have changed again.

“I’m not curious. I-I’m going home.”

I stepped out of his embrace. I wanted to head towards the bright square but I was unfortunately blocked by Hernan who turned his body to face me.

“Ahn. I have something I want from you.”

Before I knew it, he was calling my name sweetly.

“Move.”

As our breaths filled the static silence, I could spot the bright blue lights of the square just up ahead. I tilted my face.

“I can’t take my eyes off you. I wonder why.”

“…..”

“You remind me of someone I know.”

I stared at him back with bated breath. His impressively white hair was fluttering around wildly.

“What are you talking about? If that’s all you have to say, let me go.”

His hair was pushed back due to the wind, exposing his sky blue eyes beneath his eyebrows. Ah, just as I thought, there was no warmth in his gaze.

If the eyes that stared at me back in the palace were soaking in sweetness, it felt like I was now staring at a gray wall.

“She always looked at me without avoiding her gaze.”

“That person…”

“Yes.”

As soon as I mentioned ‘that person’, Hernan’s expression bloomed like a flower. Facing the usual expression I see from him, my heart twisted weirdly.

“It’s not a pleasant story.”

I could guess who Hernan was referring to. I just did not want to believe it.

In the eyes that were staring at me, was that person really me? I closed my eyes.

“You had originally wanted to use me as bait but since I resemble someone you know but I don’t… you decided to save my life?”

“Yes. Otherwise, you would have gotten hurt.”

It was clear that he was referring to the men dressed in gray suits leading the group of weird gelatin from a while ago.

“In this situation… it’s weird to ask but can I anyway?”

“Yes.”

I backed away from him. I did not want to back into the dark anymore but I did not want to see him.

“Do you love ‘that person’?”

“No.”

I did not want to see him revealing everything he was feeling without hesitation and with a gaze I had never seen before.

He smiled like a flower.

“That person is my blessed land.”

It was clear from my expression that I had no idea what to do.

“She’s like the moon in my world. I admire her.”

His expression as he talked about someone else in the fading sunset was filled with happiness. I watched as Hernan smiled as if he had the whole world.

“As a knight…?”

“Yes.”

He turned his head slightly and replied nonchalantly as if he did not want to reply.

“I dislike people by nature. Be it man, woman, child or elderly but you.”

My heart was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach as if it was too bloated.

“I didn’t even think about disliking you even though we are standing so close to each other and holding hands.”

He came a step closer.

“I was attracted to you because you’re similar to me.”

His eyes that were staring at me were lukewarm. I wondered why he was staring at me like a pair of shoes he settled for after giving up the one he wanted more in another store?

“Everything about you reminds me of her.”

Goosebumps raised on my skin.

“I’m sorry but give up trying to escape.”

His eyes that were blinking slowly in the dark reminded me of a wild beast as a purple mist lingered around it. I quickly whipped my head around. It felt like I would get caught faster if I took a step now.

“Because I’m not going to miss it.”

He pulled me up with his arms without any struggle. Just when I looked at his face, he smiled softly. The shadows casted by the setting sun overlapped to form one dark one.

“This is the first time I’ve ever favoured someone other than that person. But I’m not hating it.”

I shoved at his chest before shouting.

“S-Stop being tempted by our resemblance! You said you admired that person!”

“No. This is important to me. For the first time, my heart is beating for someone who’s not her.”

Exhibiting his primitive rawness, the man dressed in loose clothes tilted his head.

“I’d hate missing this.”

He raised my chin.

“I want to have you.”

In the midst of all this, his sky blue eyes gracefully folded. As if I was facing a beast in the dark, his blue eyes felt like ice. At once, a purple haze appeared in his irises. I could not stand it anymore and raised my voice.

“S-Stop being ridiculous! You love that person!”

“Love? It can’t be love.”

The place his face landed on was not my lips but something above it. His hair brushed against my ears.

“What a trivial and fleeting feeling.”

Surprised by the cool and unfamiliar sensation, I flinched and shivered. Hernan raised his head and stared at me, trapping me in his gaze.

“But isn’t your desire to have her, love? Love is desire, right?”

He kissed me on the wrist.

“So, rather, ‘love’ must feel like this.”

I remembered hearing a line similar to this one. His face and the feelings behind it were completely different but I was not the one he should be saying this to.

Did he like me?

Since when did he fall for me? Compared to the many beauties he must have seen before, Ahn’s appearance was lacking. It was not good to look down on someone’s appearance but I do understand that it affects people’s first impressions.

“Are you asking me to be that ‘someone’?”

No, it was no use. I knew that his blind man did not listen to reason or to logic.

“Yes.”

I stared back at Hernan. For a man who spoke about love with his lips, there was no warmth in his expression.

“You’re an immigrant and will face many troubles in the Empire. I can give you a lot. What do you need? Citizenship? Money? Love?”

Hernan spoke in a breathtaking voice.

“So, place me in your gaze.”

His warm breath tickled my chin and then my neck.

“Why do I feel so thirsty whenever I see you?”

He whispered right next to my ear. When I lowered my head towards him, I noticed him staring at me.

“I’m sorry but I don’t like being someone’s replacement.”

All the white flowers that I know of resembled the man in front of me.

“Does ‘that person’ know that you have this side to you?”

“She probably won’t know for the rest of her life.”

He replied with a strange expression. Was he never going to show me or pretend I did not not know for the rest of his life?

The person I was now was a woman he met for the first time today, not Ashley Rose. This was really rude of him.

It was amazing how he could say that he only had one person in his heart and that he considered me his replacement while saying all those other violent things with that face. But at the same time, he looked sad. What the hell was love to him to make him be like this?

People could not choose their emotions. That was why someone had advised me to never meet someone who could never forget their ex.

“Hernan. I’m sorry but the love you’re referring to sounds fleeting and also sounds like a bother. But I believe.”

Since the days here were long, I could see the light from the sunset peeking through.

“Hernan. If you really like me, I think you should be conveying it with all your heart. Instead of just saying the words.”

“…..”

Why was Meta not looking for me? When would the gates close?

“Don’t look down on your feelings.”

Hernan lowered his head.

“Didn’t you say you find me handsome?”

He lifted my hand and brought it to my cheek before staring at me with a gaze that was calm and dark as the sea.

“If I had followed my moral compass, I would not have liked you.”

“If you were really the one for me, all that I’ve said before would be really inappropriate.”

Funnily enough, I did not believe in love.

I knew that I would never become the main lead in the story but I continued to cheer for Amor’s love in the novel. At this point, he was not the only one who did not believe in love.

“Let me go please.”

He was a successful general and a war hero in the <Light of Rusbella>. It was said that he was the tyrant’s sword. Would his expression have frightened those who gazed upon him as he slaughtered people?

This face had made feat-worthy contributions with his amazing abilities as he followed the tyrant. However, it looked so innocent and pure that it did not seem to suit his cruel actions.

I did not know if it was because I could not see him wielding the sword and harming people, or it was because the cruelest I had ever seen him was when he was a spectator watching me die.

People had faces they did not want to show others. Perhaps he did not want to show me this side to him the most.

“Come on, you already have that person. So let me go.”

He frowned slightly. For a moment, he looked devastated.

“Even the way you push me away is similar. But your scent is clearly different so why?”

I did not want to find out the meaning behind his words that sounded deeper than they were.

The light that lingered in the streets disappeared with the sun that set as blue lights began illuminating my sight in the early evening. From the side to which light could not reach, the shadows were getting darker and that was where darkness was coming from.

T/N:

Hey guys, you can expect some delays in chapters from here on out because my school work is catching up to me. But no worries I will still post my stipulated chapters by the end of the week!