Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

A week passed. I received a letter from Rebecca informing me that she would return within a few days.

I groaned before saying, “How vexing.”

With my lady-in-waiting around, I can only move at night. That was also why Amor would nag at me for sneaking around at dawn.

“I still haven’t met Amor yet…”

I had two letters at hand. One was a letter sent by Amor.

For whatever reason, Amor had sent me a letter requesting that I do not visit him for about a week.

[Recipient: Ashley Rosé]

The letter which was written in neat writing reflected the personality that wrote it. We really had a business relationship.

[I’ll be busy so don’t come.]

Couldn’t he at least tell me what was going on or what situation he found himself in?

“… It’s not like we can’t even show that much consideration to each other.”

I was worried that he was refusing my visits because he was very sick.

Because he really hated showing himself in pain to others. I could not sit still anymore and visited him but when I tried to enter his door, I was blocked by plants.

From the clear will he was showing me, I had no choice but to turn my back around. I was actually quite sad that there was nothing more I could do.

“… That stubborn mule.”

I opened the drawer and took out two small vials before placing them on the palm of my hand. Amor had given me three vials. I had used one so there were only two left. And they were on my palm.

I rolled the vials of drugs around on the palm of my hand.

Should I drink it or not?

After going out for two days, I realised how eye-catching my appearance was. Blonde seemed to be a common hair colour here but my eyes seemed to be a problem. I thought it would be just Castor’s eye colour but since purple was quite a rare colour as well, I would get a lot of attention.

Also, since I only stayed in the palace, my pale white skin stood out amongst the people’s healthy complexions.

People would even think I was a child who was wandering alone because of my small size. I did not have a guardian with me so it was like I was serving my head on a platter to predators.

In that regard, my changed appearance was better than my original one.

‘From my memory, my height or physique did not get much bigger but…”

Because it belonged to an adult woman with a gentle face.

Speaking of my face, I wondered where and how that face came to be?

Either it was a woman whom Amor knew or the face of a maid from Amor’s palace.

The reason why I agonised over it for so long was because the face I saw looked very familiar but I could not put my finger on it.

Yellow-skinned people in the Empire were rare but that did not mean they did not exist. People from the central continent would have yellow skins just like the Koreans did in my previous life. I would seldom hear about someone of mixed race in the Empire. They would also have the skin colour that I had been so used to.

There were also other races. Be it Meta or the maid I met in the laundry place, there were also gypsies from the desert areas who had dark skin.

‘Where have I seen that face?’

Whenever I thought about it, I would feel drowsy as if I was secretly looking for something I had left behind. It was a strange and subtle feeling that I could not remember. The vial rolled around on my palm.

If I drank this one more time, I would see that face again.

‘I might run into Hernan.’

Perhaps I had gotten some powers of foresight after using the diary but I could not shake off the feeling that I would meet the unfamiliar Hernan again once I drink this.

After being stuck in that dilemma for so long, I decided to believe in the first answer I arrived at.

“Hannah, where are you?”

“Yes, Princess! Where are you going now?”

Seeing me in Anna’s clothes, Hannah looked at me with a worried gaze.

“Please hand this over to Lord Ray when he arrives.”

Instead of replying, I smiled before passing her a note.

Lord Ray had briefly left to visit Dane’s palace. He said he would return soon so he might already be on the way back. I quickly left the palace.

This was my chance. Three people had taken turns monitoring me for the past few days. It was so strict that they would even watch me breathe.

“I understand them but…”

I understood their concerns but changing the future was not as simple as they thought it was. I was the person who knew better than anyone.

No matter how much I thought about it, I had to see it before Rebecca came back.

The clock tower. (1)

The place where Castor and Rusbella was going to meet would be the beginning of the side story (2) and a chance to meet the main character. I should observe the area before the Founding Festival officially began.

I wanted to see it with my own two eyes without anyone else interfering. To determine whether this was really the story of the real main character appearing and falling in love.

I was only going to the clock tower but I did not like lying to Lord Ray.

But if I told him the truth, would he believe me?

That this was a world within a novel. I could just continue hiding that fact from him as I had been doing till now but I did not want to. However, no matter what i said, no one would understand.

It felt like no one would understand what I was feeling because I was the only one behind the looking glass.

My people would try to understand whatever I said. But the feeling that I was speaking a different language could not be shaken off.

The fact that they would give up trying to understand from the beginning and pretend to only made me feel lonelier.

I just wanted to be sure.

“Does Rusbella really exist?”

I had to ruminate and write down the contents of the original novel myself. How many times had I written down a future that did not occur until I wondered if I had gone crazy?

I wanted to quit. I thought it would be better if I could see the main character for myself so I would not feel like such a stranger to this world.

If I could at least be confident as to where I was and adapt to the gravity of this world, I thought I could breathe. I hoped that Rusbella would anchor my feet to the ground.

“It’s a relief that I remember the way.”

I easily got past the outer gates. This was because I had gone the same way with Soricks and Meta for two days. More importantly, the hole was a great way to escape without being noticed.

“Should I drink it here?”

I drank the drugs in one shot. I asked the people along the streets for directions to the tower.

“The clock tower? Just go straight and take the second road! I guess you’re here to sight see?”

“Thank you.”

“Oh dear, why’s a small lady like you alone at this hour? Where’s your lover?”

“Haha. He’s over there.”

No one treated me like a child after taking the drugs to change my face.

“This face is more comfortable in many ways.”

Finally, I looked up to the front of the tower.

“Is this it? The clock tower…”

The tower was intimidatingly tall, and a large bell and a clock could be seen in a distance.

It was the Clock Tower of Peace, created by a craftsman from Vulcanus who was a friend of the First Emperor. It was famous for being able to tell the exact time without breaking down once for 2,000 years. Some said that it suggested that as the clock would move forever, the Empire would be eternal.

I winced before whining, “I didn’t think it would be this easy to find…”

It was closer than I expected. If I had known this, I would not have asked Hernan to bring me here.

There was a sign warning me that I should not climb the stairs and enter the rooftop but I ignored it and entered anyway. Fortunately, there was no one there.

Honestly, what would happen to me if I got caught? As I thought about something useless, I looked around before climbing up the stairs. Because it was steep, I walked and rested before walking and resting again repeatedly. Finally, I reached the top.

“Ugh, I mean, what kind of romance were the main characters having for them to painstakingly get to this place?”

I had questions about something that I should not even be curious about in romance novels. Even so, the rooftop I arrived in had no one else and was merely ordinary. There was a railing and a huge clock. And the sound of the gears turning.

“It’s so normal.”

The place left a short impression on me before I walked towards the railing.

“Wow…”

Gusts of wind blew. At a glance, a panorama of the entire Empire was right before me. Numerous people could be seen in the vast square.

Something rang.

When I looked up, I noticed a huge bell staring down at me.

I could see my face reflected on metal. I grabbed my hair that was flying around before pushing it behind me and admiring it quietly.

“… So there really was a bell.”

It was an old bell that seemed to be revealing its age. Considering how it had been cleaned so well, it seemed to have been managed well. Seeing the blinding yet dazzling golden light, I was reminded of someone.

‘Castor.’

Tick tick.

The sounds of the clock calmly filled the silence. It looked like all the sunlight across the sky had been caught by this golden bell. It was as if I had entered Castor’s eyes. I grabbed the railing and tilted my head.

This was the first place where Castor and Rusbella met.

If I consider the scenery below me at night, this would make quite a nice dating place because of its night view. It was romantic.

“That’s a relief.”

A bell that resembled Castor’s eye colour and a bell that was the oldest in the Empire.

“It has everything…”

I suddenly raised my head.

“Ah! Right!”

I jumped up and headed for one of the walls. As I fumbled across the wall, I found a brick that was sticking out and pulled it. I placed my hand into the hole the brick had left when it fell before pulling out what I had in my hand. It was a small jewelry box.

“There’s this too.”

After looking at it for a while, I inserted the brick back inside. The wind blowing felt quite chilly.

I placed my face between my knees and laughed. Everything was the same. Everything was the way it was in the original novel. The scene. The location. The item. And even how to get it.

“Hahahaha.”

Rusbella would appear to come across Castor who was already standing here. They would meet and Rusbella would receive his favour. Castor would not be able to forget Rusbella and when he spotted her with the Prince of Walter, he would be surprised to discover that she was the woman he met here. Then, the tyrant would fall in love and begin walking on his path of destruction.

“Haha…”

Everything was here. That was why I was glad. I was so relieved.

“Why…”

I was really relieved but why did I also feel so empty and angry on the inside?

If a main character really existed in this world. If this was a world that centered around the main character, why did a trivial extra have to die and live again so desperately? Why did I have to die, be deprived and get things taken from me?

Why? Why me? What for?

The diary on my lap seemed to be weighing on me. Even though that could not be possible, I felt so suffocated I grabbed my chest. I let out a breath I had been holding.

“Look here, young miss!”

Once I came to my senses, my feet were hurting. My hair was a mess and my hood had fallen off.

“You dropped this. This is yours, right?’

I must have dropped it in the middle of the road. Was I running too mindlessly? I managed to get down much faster compared to how long I took to get up.

“Yes…”

I smiled faintly when I received the handkerchief from an unknown man.

“Thank you.”

The capital was still in a festive mood and colourful confetti was scattered across the road as delicious food was being sold. For some reason, air seemed to fill the emptiness in my chest.

I was glad that I could be alone for a moment. I had smiled thinking it was a pain that no one could understand but I could hear something hollow like I was knocking on an empty barrel.

“Let’s head back.”

It was fine now that I checked it. If I appreciated the sight any more, it would just eat up my memories. My heart which had been hurting and tightening gradually calmed down.

After walking around for a long time and looking around, I spotted the clock tower from a distance away. It looked like something out of the fairytale Rapunzel, I imagined a tower that was both strong in offense and defense. If I had gotten stuck there, I would not be able to get out. Just like how I was unable to escape from the story, the clock tower I was imagining looked sad.

‘… The day Rusbella decides to visit the tower must have been on the most beautiful day.’

I thought of a space filled with colour as they stood in the middle of the night sky.

“What’s the point even if it’s pretty? I still wouldn’t be able to see it?’

No matter how pretty the scene was, it would only be like sour grapes. The remnants of regret would only remind me that that had nothing to do with me.

I could feel my feet hurting. It looked like I had cut myself with a straw poking out of the sandal while running around hectically. When I looked down, I spotted a deep wound.

“Hey, young miss, eat this before you go!”

It was amazing how this wound could be this shape but rather than feeling pain, the wound stung.

“If you eat this together, you’ll experience a taste you never had before!”

“Thank you but no thank you. I don’t have the money.”

“Hm. Really? Try it. This would be on the house.”

I smiled gently at the kindness of the stall owner.

Things that are normal and the usual. I could not wait to head back so I could forget about ever going out.

I should hurry and go back. I should head back and visit Amor tonight.

However, life would never go how one wants it.

T/N:

(1): I had been using spire because it sounded cooler only for me to realise in this chappie that they were referring to a clock tower. LOL.

(2): Not the actual side story but a story that branched off from the main plot line to continue another one!

Amor.

Anyway, I missed the opportunity to go out to meet him since I met Dane today. I would have to go tomorrow.

I had not gone to the spire where Rusbella and Castor were going to meet yet. And that truth that keeps bothering me.