Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

“Brother.”

My heart was getting heavier as all the things I couldn’t handle gradually piled atop each other. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pick it up again if it fell.

“There are a lot of things I want to ask and talk to you about but it looks like you’re in too much pain to listen to whatever I have to say, brother.”

“It’s fine. Just sit.”

Anyone could tell from his serious expression that he was just being stubborn about admitting his pain. I continued staring at him. Was this how Dane, Fleon and the Lord felt whenever they looked at me?

“No matter how handsome you are, you still won’t be able to convince me.”

“Sit.”

“No, rest.”

The more I watched him, the more he reminded me of myself. All in the way he thinks, his dry personality and the things we could never turn a blind eye to.

“Don’t be stubborn. Please?”

“…..”

I had always wanted to be someone who could be confidently selfish. In order to rid myself of misfortune, I wished I could think nothing of the small sacrifices surrounding me. But I couldn’t do that. My moment of misfortune had just passed. It had been difficult and tiringly painful but at this point, all my thoughts were of Amor who seemed to be having a hard time.

“What happened today was not my first time.”

Amor held my hand tightly.

“Don’t just leave after saying what your piece. I hadn’t said a word yet.”

In the dark, the grip he had on me was tight. He felt like a child.

“But, brother, your face…”

“Zip it.”

His head lowered and I could see the crown of his head. He was delirious from his fever and it looked difficult for him to bear.

“Brother…”

It was dark but I carefully looked for his forehead before poking it.

“A little more…”

Did he feel good? He held my hand. I lowered my hand towards his eyes and closed them.

“I was worried.”

“…..”

“I said I was worried… about you.”

We were not good at worrying. I had forgotten that such an expression was unfamiliar to the both of us. I could tell how wretched he was feeling from his voice.

“If you go outside, it’ll be hard for me to protect you.”

He could hear everything the plants were telling him but his divinity was limited to his palace.

It was like having hundreds of phones and listening to them all at the same time. It would only be tiring for him if he did it for too long. Moreover, as the distance increases, the divinity he would have to pour into his abilities would double. It would only further burden his weak body.

“… You don’t have to overdo it.”

“But I was put in a situation to do it.”

Amor spat out bluntly.

“The bracelet I gave you only tells me nonsense.”

“Well, sorry about that. I lost it…”

It disappeared while I was running away from the kidnappers… and the man, who now looked furious, smiled before saying.

“That seemed to be the case.”

For some reason, perhaps it was because he was sick, Amor seemed to have gotten more lenient.

“Hernandez is the Templar of Beasts. You won’t be able to avoid him even if you cover your face.”

He spoke slowly.

“Just as I thought, you knew I was going to run into him.”

“Right. He often leaves the Crown Prince’s Palace to go outside.”

He spoke feistily but remained calm.

“Just as you saw out there, he’s a very dangerous man. You don’t like him much so I didn’t think you would try to get involved with him… That was my mistake. You saw how he was, right?”

Certainly, he was very different from how he was in the palace.

“It’s because the Templars of Beasts are unable to suppress their longings and desires well. When he remains out of range of his suppressor, he becomes a bull without reins. He’s a pitiful templar who continues to be plagued by his instincts and impulses because of the blood of an ancient beast.”

“Are you saying, in the palace, Cas… our 1st Brother plays that role in the palace? He’s the suppressor?”

“Yes. Do you know what it’s like to have a hard time judging situations rationally? If he makes a mistake, he will hurt anyone he sees.”

I removed my hand from Amor’s eyes. I touched the diary unknowingly.

He let out a sigh.

“Hernandez said it himself. When his suppressor is not present, he’s nothing more than a violent beast.”

His head leaned against his bed’s headboard. His light sky-coloured hair fluttered down his forehead before he took in a little breath.

“I gave you three bottles because I thought you would use at least one. If it’s you, I believed that you would use them properly.”

His words sounded more like a lament.

“If you had the time to drink the drug, I thought you wouldn’t be in a situation serious enough to even fight. That was exactly what I had thought.”

Even as the darkness covered my eyes, I could recognise his green irises.

“You should’ve known to avoid it. I didn’t know you would come back in such a mess. … You always exceed my expectations.”

My hand stopped touching the diary. In the end, he said that he had not wanted me to meet Hernan and even if we did meet, he had wanted me to avoid him.

Because of that, he had used up all his strength to make tools that would make things easier for me at his own expense.

“Am I right to say that to counteract another templar’s divinity, you would have to pour out either a similar or a greater amount of power?”

In the book, it was written that the Templars of Beasts had excellent physical abilities, keen five senses and instincts like a beast’s. Those skills could be considered one of their abilities.

Amor only got this sick because Hernan was such a difficult opponent.

“That drug must have been very powerful.”

“Correct.”

It could not have been easy to fool Hernan’s eyes.

“… In the end, you’re sick because you hid me from Hernandez. B-Because of me?’

My vision was getting blurry. I felt really apologetic but it was useless. I was not worried only because he was sick. This was the right time to say it.

“Alright.”

“…..”

“Because I didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

He spoke.

“… I wanted to do it. So I just did.”

I had completely forgotten what I wanted to say because he was so straightforward and honest. Completely.

“It’ll be difficult for you to hide your identity once you run into Hernan. He might look easygoing but he’s a strong templar. It had been trickier than I thought, trying to fool that person’s eyes. So the fact that I‘m sick right now has nothing to do with you.”

“That…”

My mouth had been left agape blankly for a while now.

‘And that’s because you had been worried about me.’

“Why?”

The wind swept through the door and the hem of the curtains fluttered with it.

“Why did you do that?”

“Hernan’s in charge of a very important task. But what if you, the princess, appear?”

“He’s going to hurt me?”

“That’s right. It’ll be annoying if a member of the Imperial Family finds out about a secret no one should know about. If it hadn’t been for Hernan, the rest of the men would not have let you go so easily. The men who called Hernan their captain. They are all part of the secret organisation known as the ‘Emperor’s Shadows’.”

“I know. I overheard what they said.”

Though I heard it from the Templar of Chaos to be exact.

“Right now, they’re in charge of everything that’s going on in the back alleys of the capital. Even though the 2nd Prince might have been vaguely suspicious, he’s not able to catch them red-handed.”

His words made me feel strange about what I already know.

“But I already know. I’m just a powerless princess.”

“No one believes that anymore after you joined hands with the aedile.”

Amor spoke firmly.

“And Hernan’s aides all know your face.”

“There’s no point hiding my face in front of those men. Was that why you had to trick Hernan as well?”

“You’re right. Wasn’t it unpleasant to see him outside the palace? The best situation was if you didn’t run into each other but when I heard the reason why you wanted to leave the palace, I thought that would be difficult. And even if it wasn’t Hernan you met, I had expected his men to have seen you at any given time.”

“So you did know. What Hernan does outside the palace.”

“I can’t say that I don’t.”

The disgusting memories of five men grabbing a girl and trying to drag her away remained in my mind.

In fact, before coming here, I thought about how I should talk about the kidnapping.

I think I had overlooked it too much. In the original novel, Amor was someone who was closely related to the Crown Prince and the 2nd Prince.

If this was really a world within the novel, then the other things I know about him must be true. Just because one person’s personality changed, that didn’t mean everything changed. He was his ally and still relied on Castor for his life.

“It’s the 2nd Prince!!”

“I am the Saintess of the Empire. Beatrice Marissa.”

Furthermore, even though I did not know much about politics, everything that happened was the Emperor and Castor’s doing. Moreover, the 2nd Prince was related too.

What if I, who had become associated with the aedile who was known for his just and moral character, found out about this important matter? The Emperor’s Shadows might find me bothersome. The plan should be carried out without anyone finding out.

As a result, it was a good thing I had taken that drug.

“Women cannot be templars. Because it has prohibited by the law.”

For a strange reason, this Empire has entered an era where the number of templars have become remarkably small because women have become completely rejected from being templars.

“All we want is the fall of this Empire.”

Hernan, Castor and the emperor.

The main characters in the <Light of Rusbella>. Though myself, everyone around me and the place I lived in were not even in the original novel. If the Empire really fell as depicted in the novel, all the people I knew would die.

However, this was not what Amor and I were going to talk about.

“What you said. There’s some parts that don’t make sense. Let’s say my face changed. But what if Hernan still hurt me?”

Hernan was going to do that at first.

“That’s why I gave you one more. For insurance.”

“Insurance.”

“Hernan could kill you.”

He smirked at me but his expression soon turned serious and said.

“Don’t you have the power of my protection with you? If Hernan had tried to hurt you, he would’ve stopped.”

“Are you talking about the blessing?”

“Yes.”

“That’s why you did it? Because of Hernan?”

“… Two stones, one bird. I needed enough of my divinity to flow out of your body to deceive Hernan. That way, I can trick that beastly sense of his.”

“Did you do it just in case?”

“Yeah. It did not seem like there was going to be any chance the two of you meet but just in case.”

“You did something really useless.”

“Well, it did help in the end. Didn’t we become more comfortable with each other?”

“That’s stupid!”

I tried to speak calmly but I spat it out at him loudly with my face heating up. My cry began to mix with my words making it sound like a wail.

“I don’t want to be protected by you at your expense. I don’t like that.”

Then, Amor bowed his head with an elegant smile that could not be imitated before lowering his head as well.

“I think you returned safely. That’s what I wanted from the beginning.”