Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

He tried to wipe his tears away with the back of his hand but they wouldn’t stop. After staring blankly at the tears dripping down from the tip of his nose, he slowly raised his head.

“Hernan.”

I called his name without realising it.

“Are you really Hernan?”

With my hand on his cheek, he couldn’t bring himself to speak for a while.

When he finally opened his eyes, mine were met with his blue ones.

“Yes. Princess.”

When I heard his voice, my words got stuck in my throat.

“It is me.”

That clear, pure blue colour. He stared at me with the eyes that reminded me of a lake in the summer.

“Really, it really is you…”

I could no longer see him through my blurring vision so I lowered my head.

“What a relief. I am so very glad. I really am…”

His hand gripped mine tighter. I could tell now. The way he held my hand, trying not to hurt me. This really was Hernandez.

“I’m glad you’ve returned.”

I tried to swallow my tears as I spoke.

“The fact that you’re no longer the one pointing your sword at me…”

Hernan grimaced at my words.

“My apologies.”

His lips were trembling

“… My apologies, princess.”

“No.”

But he didn’t seem to have heard me. Just when I was about to offer him more words of comfort.

He tugged on my waist. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in his embrace.

“Why have I committed such terrible sins against you?”

“Hernan? I’m alright so could you let me go first so we could talk?”

I felt uncomfortable being unable to see his face. But he continued to bury his face into my neck and sweep his hand down my back.

“The God of Beasts had told me something, saying how telling me that would be his last favour.”

He mumbled with his face still buried. His muffled voice gradually sounded clearer.

“No, he told me those should have been memories I’ve forgotten.”

I paused in the midst of patting his shoulders.

“I couldn’t remember and I shouldn’t have but he had left them to me as a gift since it would be our last time together.”

“… No. No. That was not a gift.”

I replied flatly.

“Don’t speak anymore, Hernan.”

Before I realised it, I could feel my shoulders getting wet. I tried to force myself out of his arms.

But his arms only dug deeper into my waist. He clung onto me like a young cub who didn’t want to be separated from his mother. The warmth from his body as he hugged me hurt from the tightness.

I finally managed to get him off me after a few seconds. I could see his eyes were red from tears. I covered his red eyes with my hand.

“Forget them.”

Even his tears looked pure and beautiful. Streams of his tears flowed through my hands.

“They are not for you to handle.”

Why would he need to be able to remember my deaths now?

“My apologies must have been meaningless. How empty my apologies must have been when I couldn’t even remember…”

I felt the urge to cover his mouth with my other hand.

“No. No, it wasn’t. Hernan.”

“So, this was what you meant when you said I stood on the sidelines. I shouldn’t have apologised.”

A big hand covered my own. I couldn’t stop a man from crying for me.

I merely smiled out of pity.

“I did not live a life that deserves sympathy.”

He must have had a hard time carrying the burden of his own life.

“There is something more important we have to discuss right now. Hernan, stop crying.”

As he tried to hold his tears back, I playfully remarked, “Good boy.” He squeezed my hand.

“I shall heed your command.”

He still said that even though he had no need to obey my orders. When I soon took my hands off him, his red eyes still remained. His eyes were moist just like the sky after rain.

“It’s not too late.”

He held my hand before clearly saying.

“Castor should be with the 2nd and 5th Princes.”

Hernan told me the location of their meeting. I could feel a great surge of power from the room.

‘Alongside a much weaker one.”

Though weak, it was definitely the Power of the Lord.

‘Was that the 5th Prince?’

As I furrowed my brows, Hernan continued.

“While Castor is dealing with the 2nd and 5th Princes, you may head to the crystal first and get ready for him.”

I stared at him doubtfully.

“What do you mean ‘get ready’?”

“Yes. Princess, you have been acknowledged by the artefacts. The crystal will choose to follow you before it does Castor. The crystal is an item that obeys the emperor above their heir.”

“It had been an informal succession but I became the emperor?”

“Yes.”

Hernan left me with two choices and left the ultimate decision to me.

Would I head straight to Castor who was currently facing Julian or head to the crystal first?

“Since we have some time, I’ll ask a quick question. Hernan, you once told me that Castor would never kill in front of Julian. What did that mean?”

Before I noticed, I realised I had called them all by name and without any honorifics but Hernan nodded without any signs of bewilderment.

“Back when I first met Castor. He revealed that his ultimate goal was to bring ruin upon the Empire.”

“I know that.”

“After following him for some time, I came across some older templars who had requested Castor to return to his former life. But everyone was killed the moment they mentioned the change in Castor.”

Hernan shared that there had been many that died that way.

“Sir Julian was the only one who lived after mentioning the change in Castor.”

“If you’re talking about change…”

“As a child, it is true that Castor had been a very wise and thoughtful prince.”

Hernan continued speaking with mixed feelings, one that showed neither happiness nor sorrow.

“No matter what Sir Julian said, Castor never tried to kill him. Even though it would have been better he did if he wanted to solidify his position as heir. Because they knew he would get killed if they tried, no one dared to stand up against Castor. Rather, it looked like Castor was avoiding Julian.”

After his quick explanation, Hernan knelt on one knee. He picked up the sword he had dropped.

Just then, a roar imploded from behind me. It came from the direction of the hall I had run out of.

‘Had there been another explosion?’

Hernan narrowed his eyes at the end of the hallway as though he had felt it too.

“It was Deros, Princess. I know where else he had set up Artefacts of Fire.”

He explained that the artefacts were able to cause huge explosions.

“I know now. I will head to either the crystal or Castor so take care of what’s going on back there.”

“Yes.”

“Take care of it and hurry over. With Amor.”

For some reason, he frowned slightly at my words. Before giving a faint smile.

“… Yes. I shall heed your orders.”

I paused for a moment. Because he had kissed the hem of my dress as he knelt before me.

“For you, the one more beautiful than anything else in the world.”

He quickly got up before running away. He moved so fast I could barely say anything in response.

Once he reached the other end of the hallway, I turned my back against his faintly visible silhouette.

Now, I had to choose.

I slowly closed my eyes. It felt as if I could sense the swaying energy. One was in a room not too far away and the other was deep underground.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself at a crossroads.

I ran towards one path.

***

Life had always been about making choices.

To die or to live. Like a prince in a tragedy, my choices were all a matter of life or death.

I never dreamed of being able to not choose or giving up.

My death did not result in the end of my life but rather the pain and suffering of my loved ones.

Just like it did during that month of Habermia, the first time I died.

The options I had been forcefully given pained me. Even if I were to make an extreme choice to end this life, it would only bring me back to the moment of my choice.

Regression would only drive people crazy.

The people who supported me–Fleon, Dane and Lord Ray, The maids who loved me dearly.

The reason why I could finally become friendly to the maids, after I had been so exhausted from the countless regressions, was because I was hiding it from Dane and Fleon.

‘I didn’t want to show the fact that I had changed.’

The people who remained the same despite my regressions. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had become alone in a world where everyone remained the same. I didn’t want to get caught.

Even though I had been desperately avoiding death, I did not reach out to them for help.

‘Castor.’

It was at that moment did I realise.

He, who had regressed thousands of times until he became the man he was now, would have been way more worn out than me.

“I am going to destroy my last bit of conscience and the centre of this Empire. Will you chase after me?”

I had Fleon and Dane, So, who did he have?

He had Julian.

I burst through the door.

Pant. Pant. I took a deep breath before staring ahead of me.

Plop.

I saw a figure collapsing right before my eyes.

‘Who is it?’

The first thing that caught my eyes was the dishevelled back hair.

‘Castor? No.’

No. His hair was too short and his stature was too small. I looked up to find Castor. And to his side was Julian with his back against the wall.

‘Then he was… the 5th Prince?’

Out of all the Imperial members, the 5th Prince was the only one other than Castor to have black hair. Although I had never seen his face before since he rarely showed himself in public.

Upon closer inspection, he looked very young. I spotted the broken glasses laying next to him. I raised my head.

“Ashley.”

Castor called out my name pleasantly.

“I felt my connection with Hernan breaking a while ago. You must have been responsible.”

He smiled very calmly.

For some reason, the room was very dark. The light streaming through the gap in the curtains drew a diagonal line across his face.

“Hernan would have told you two things. I don’t know why you ended up coming here. When you had been given the choice to head to the crystal or come to me.”

Castor pointed out accurately.

“Did you choose me?”

He stretched his bloody sword out before laughing as though he was in a good mood.

“Brother…”

The moment Julian, whose face had turned white as a sheet, called out for Castor. The smile disappeared from Castor’s face,

I quickly reached out. Purple butterflies spread out from my hand before wrapping around Castor’s hands momentarily.

“Was the 2nd Prince, Julian, your last remaining conscience?”

His silence affirmed my doubts.

Pssh.

The chains my butterflies had created broke one by one and the power struggle between us continued.

“I was planning on finishing everything so that I could welcome you the moment you arrived.”

Castor murmured lowly.

“You often go beyond my expectations.”

Castor stopped resisting before staring at me as he stood there entrapped. Madness continued to swirl in his eyes.

A smile slowly spread on his face.

“Yes. This brother of mine is my last remaining conscience.”

He confessed the truth calmly.

“We used to be very close. Ashley, as I’ve mentioned before, I know the way to escape the regressions. Do you know how to escape the curse?”

I had been awakened but I had not been released from the curse yet. Castor spoke as if he was well aware.

“You’d have to kill someone you loved with your own hands.”