How To Survive as a Villain

Yan HeQing replied with a ‘yes’, but just when he was about to turn around, a person suddenly ran in. That person shouted in an exaggerated voice: “Wow! Auntie, it smells so good! My mouth is drooling! Huh? Who is this?” As Xie Chungui stood beside Third Aunt, he bit his finger and looked at Yan HeQing strangely: “A stranger, how can there be a stranger in our house?”

Third Aunt hurriedly replied: “He’s not a stranger, and you can call him ‘Yan-ge’.”

Before Xie Chungui could reply, Yan HeQing suddenly said: “He can’t call me like that.”

Because the white vapor emerged from the boiling pot, overflowing the whole kitchen, Third Aunt wasn’t able to see Yan HeQing’s expression clearly. The only thing she was able to see was the setting sun shining in from the outside, showing the flying dust that was present everywhere: “Ah? Why…?”

Yan HeQing was silent for a long time before he said: “It would be humiliating for him.”

Xie Chungui, who was stuck in a childish nature, naturally didn’t care about what the two of them were saying. He simply took a chicken leg from the stove and chewed happily.

Third Aunt was at a loss for words as she stood frozen in place, until she heard Yan HeQing saying that he’ll go call Xiao YuAn for dinner. After he said that, he turned around, and left.

“Oh, dear….” Third Aunt patted herself on the head and then took a clean cloth to wipe Xie Chungui’s mouth: “Slowly, eat slowly. There’s no need to rush, once you’re done eating, Auntie will cook another one for you.”

“Mm-mm!” Xie Chungui smiled very cheerfully.

…

It was night, the insects were chirping, and the moon was setting.

But Xiao YuAn couldn’t sleep.

He couldn’t sleep because he didn’t understand how Yan HeQing could fall asleep.

Xiao YuAn thought to himself, ‘Should I be relieved that Yan HeQing fell asleep after spending the whole day feeling anxious about the “night activities”?’

‘He simply fell asleep, just like that?’

‘Asleep?’

‘He’s also sleeping on the bed close to mine, he’s not sleeping with me! He even has his back facing me!’

If it weren’t because the mere thought of it was impossible, Xiao YuAn would begin to doubt whether Yan HeQing had cheated on him with a random woman outside.

However, Xiao YuAn suddenly had an epiphany.

‘Maybe Yan-ge wants to perform a night attack!’

‘Yes! It’s a night attack!’

‘If that’s the case, I wonder if I should cooperate properly.’

Xiao YuAn tightened the blanket, pretending to be asleep, and then… he really fell asleep. He comfortably slept until dawn.

‘Wait a minute. I slept till dawn? What?’

‘What’s going on?’

‘What happened to the night… the night attack?’

Xiao YuAn thought that Yan HeQing might not be ready yet, so he patiently waited for another day. In the end, the following night Yan HeQing watched him drink the medicine, took the empty bowl, and went out. When he came back, he extinguished the candle light, and lied on the bed next to Xiao YuAn’s.

Xiao YuAn couldn’t stand it anymore. He got up, lit the candle, and said: “Yan-ge, you’re not even trying to kill this chicken with a knife. You’re just waving it back and front, right before the chicken’s eyes, because you don’t want it to have a good time¹, right?”

Yan HeQing knew that sooner or later Xiao YuAn would’ve asked about it, so he simply turned over, sat up on the bed, and told him the truth: “Your body won’t be able to stand it.”

Xiao YuAn’s eyes widened: “Who’s unable to ‘stand it’? Who’s claiming that a man can’t stand it? Who said that? Believe it or not, I will fight with him.”

“Physician Zhang.”

“….. Then I’ll fight with Zhang Baizhu.” Xiao YuAn then said wistfully: “Yan-ge, I’m not in a hurry, it’s just… I wonder why every time there’s an opportunity to do it, it doesn’t work out? Every! Single! Time!”

At that, Yan HeQing got up from his bed and sat beside Xiao YuAn. He then gently touched Xiao YuAn’s hair, lifted his chin, and planted a kiss on the corner of Xiao YuAn’s mouth: “We’ll wait for your body to recover, and then….”

“Alright. After all, it would be so humiliating if I were to pass out.” Xiao YuAn said.

Yan HeQing slightly raised the corner of his mouth for a brief moment. When he was about to go back to his bed, Xiao YuAn grabbed his clothes, and said: “Yan-ge, don’t go over there, just sleep here with me.”

Yan HeQing thought about it for a second, blew out the candle, and laid down beside Xiao YuAn; stretching out his arm to embrace Xiao YuAn and protect him in his arms.

Since it was still early, it was inevitable to start a small conversation. Xiao YuAn couldn’t stop himself from asking: “Yan-ge, did you think that I was dead?”

Surrounded by darkness, Yan HeQing’s body became stiff.

Xiao YuAn hurriedly reached out to pat his back, and gently caressed him.

Yan HeQing’s body gradually relaxed: “No. Because I didn’t find your corpse.”

Xiao YuAn was surprised at this: “You searched for my corpse?”

Yan HeQing ‘hmmed’ and said: “They said that you were buried alive, so I dug up that piece of land for 10 li². Your body wasn’t anywhere, so I didn’t believe that you were dead.”

Xiao YuAn was unable to speak when he heard this. He simply reached out and hugged Yan HeQing tightly.

Yan HeQing stroked his hair, and placed his chin against Xiao YuAn’s forehead: “Go to sleep. I hope you’ll have sweet dreams.”

That night, a strong wind blew. That wind hit against the window, and lifted the withered yellow leaves off the trees’ branches. However, this wind wasn’t able to blow away the warmth surrounding Xiao YuAn.

…

The next morning, Xiao YuAn woke up before Yan HeQing.

As he moved his body, he felt how his consciousness was slowly returning to his four limbs.

However, at that moment, Xiao YuAn felt that something was wrong. As he moved his body, the wrongness became even more obvious, to the point in which he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Even though his body was still pretty much injured, as a man with no erectile dysfunction, Xiao YuAn knew that many men had the ‘issue’ of finding themselves with an early ‘problem’.

Yan HeQing’s hand was still around his waist, maintaining a protective pose, and Xiao YuAn cursed inside his mind. Filled with embarrassment, he slightly moved backwards. Unexpectedly, as soon as he moved, Yan HeQing opened his eyes.

Xiao YuAn was completely dumbfounded, frozen in place, as his heartbeat sounded like a loud drum. The sound was so loud that it could almost tear his eardrums apart.

The part where YHQ doesn’t want XCG to call him ‘yan-ge’ isn’t bc he just wants XYA to call him like that (which giving his status, XYA is the only one allowed anyways) but bc he recognized XCG, and he knows that it’ll be humiliating for XCG to call his enemy ‘ge’, given that his army killed all his friends and was the reason behind LWD’s death ?

XYA expecting YHQ’s ‘night attack’ was so hilarious ??? and now he even has a morning boner ???

What will YHQ do ?