Crown of Thorns

After he finished his meal, i was finally able to start teaching. I decided to teach them slowly about letters and manners, and to develop his most urgent abilities first.

I explained it to Evan because i thought it would be better to tell him a simple theory about the power he would learn, but he understood and accepted it surprisingly easily. I have taught the boy who was coveting the power i was using, but it was difficult for him to understand that energy came from nature itself. When asked me what energy there was in the wind and water, i was speechless.

But Evan was already feeling the energy in nature. He knew the energy of water, wind, tree, fire, and land. I saw that he felt the direction of the wind or the presence of a distant monster. How did he know when no one ever taught him?

Of course, i know it’s because he has a more sensitive senses than others. In addition, it may be due to the intense tension he constantly feels; always hanging between life and death. If he doesn’t let his guard down, he will be more sensitive and sharper than anyone else because fearing for one’s life triggers the person’s protective instincts and enhances their senses.

But i don’t think that’s all there is to it. Most of all, finding useful things or taking a rest in the forest was never something for someone to do alone. He couldn’t have done it with his natural senses alone.

I recalled the boy’s brother whom he said had died because of the witch. When i heard the conversation between the merchants, it seems that the man who came in and out of the forest before was his brother. It is likely that he learned from him. When i thought about it up to there, Evan’s mouth, which had not spoken for a while, opened as if he had been quietly organizing the story i had told him.

“My brother told me that everything’s breathing. If i close my eyes and listen to the stories of wind, trees, land, and water, then they’d show me the way.”

“That’s great. He has learned the basics of magic himself.”

“Right?”

Evan’s face, which had been slightly down, brightened. Then he began to chatter about his brother.

“My brother was a forest keeper. He visited even the witch’s forest that no one dared step into, and people praised him for his greatness. He taught me how to walk around the forest and find food there and rest. He understood what nature was saying very well. I, on the other hand, still have a long way to go.”

“Maybe he was born with those abilities. If he could use magic, he would’ve been a great sorcerer.”

I frowned with grief. Unlike in the past, when people were highly recognized for their ability, now their only worth is to know their way around the forest. The real curse that came upon this world was neither a monster nor a king blinded by greed. Being prevented from using the natural forces. That would have been the curse.

Was it the deity’s arrangement to enlighten human pride?

Suddenly i felt watched. Evan’s red eyes were on me. I recalled the fact that i was supposed to be teaching him. Whatever the reason was, it was good for me that the boy was so sensitive. Because it made it easier to teach him.

What was a little worrisome was that Evan’s keen senses might realize that i was hovering around him whenever he left my tower. Of course, no matter how astutely he could feel the monsters’ presence and direction of the wind, it was not a problem because he can neither feel, smell, nor hear the shadows, but if he becomes more sensitive in the future, he might expose me. I have to be more careful.

“I’m curious about something.”

“Tell me.”

“You told me before that people can’t use any other powers but darkness anymore, right?”

I nodded. Evan’s questions continued.

“I was so distracted at the time that i didn’t care… What about me? You said i was the light. Wouldn’t i also be unable to use those powers?”

“Light is an attribute that humans cannot be born with. It was an ability that could not be used from the beginning. So among all those sorcerers, there were only two divinities able to use it.”

Evan’s eyes opened wide at my words. There has always been little change in facial expressions, only the eyes used to show emotion. But he’s so full of emotions now that he couldn’t hide it. So he looked more colorful. As his facial expressions and emotions grew more and more, i couldn’t expect how brilliant he would be in the future.

Evan, who muttered unbelievingly, asked again.

“Then what about me? How was i born?”

“It’s god’s blessing. So the divinities can call the power of god and could use it under any circumstances. It’s probably the same now. [1]”

I can’t forget the light that ignited the insides of the tower. The warm brilliant light was the power that was going to drive out the darkness. The heavens sent out a young warrior to relieve mankind of their suffering.

“God’s blessing. I can’t believe it. They said i was a monster. They said i was cursed. They said people were dying because of me.”

“No.”

I looked into the face of the boy whose joy and suffering clashed. It was pitiful that humans could say that such a beautiful sun was cursed. I felt sorry for his situation but i could do nothing about it. It was a pity that they were foolish enough to give up the rope that would save them.

“You are a warrior who will save the world. People don’t know that.”

It would probably still be the same even if they knew. But there was no need to talk about that. It won’t do him any good to know. This young warrior just needs to light up the world. Because I’m going to make that happen.

Evan, who had been sitting silent for a while, said, retracing his memory,

“I was abandoned in the witch’s forest.”

He started telling the story out of nowhere, but i could only nod.

“There was a ray of light coming down in the dark forest. The light was shining on the baby. My brother, who approached me like i was possessed, held me in his arms and the light disappeared like a lie.”

Evan’s face was all distorted. He had a strange look that seemed like he was about to cry and laugh at the same time.

“Even when people pointed fingers at me for being cursed, my mother and brother said no. I’m not cursed; I’m just a little different. They said i was born in the light that’s why my features were white.”

Eventually, tears formed in Evan’s eyes. As if he was trying to choke a sob, he held his breath and continued.

“But they died in the end. My mother and brother. It’s because of me. Mother wouldn’t have been dragged away like that if it weren’t for me, and my brother wouldn’t have been forced to go to war. I’m blessed? No, this is a curse. I’m not a warrior, I’m a monster.

That’s how he looked at me, but his eyes were shouting no. He was begging me to say no. He wanted to believe that he was not a monster, that he’s blessed, not cursed.

He would have needed someone to refute this. Like his mother and brother, he must have been desperate for a fence to hide him and stop the influx of blame. So he must have been confused, finding the witch to turn the arrows towards and ten realizing that she was no different than himself. Is he a monster just like the witch or, is the witch not a monster but just misunderstood like him? He had to confirm.

The world says they were both monsters, so even if he wanted to say no, he must have been eating away at himself. Evan’s appearance, which revealed the pain at first glance was pitiful. I reached out and lightly raised the hair covering Evan’s forehead. Instead of patting his hair, I arranged it carefully and lovingly as any mother would do to her child.

“No. You’re neither a monster nor cursed. It’s not your fault that you lost your loved ones. You know that. The world was so strong that you couldn’t help it. So you need to be strong in the future. That’s how it works.”

I looked into his eyed as Evan did to me. I was trying to take care of him. I was clumsy and awkward, but slowly, carefully conveyed my true feelings.

“Maybe god has given your mother and brother a special mission. And since they have saved the blessed child of god, your mother and brother must have gone to heaven. They’ll be angels watching over you. The light that surrounds you and touches you might be their gazes.”

Evan looked up at me with tears in his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed and looked close to busting into tears. But what really burst out of his mouth was not crying but laughter. I was embarrassed and just looked at him, and Evan continued.

“Do people know? The fact that the witch they fear believes in god and blesses the human beings who have caused her great suffering to become angels.”

I didn’t know what expression I had on. But I thought I had a similar look to Evan’s. Crying, laughing, angry, dumbfounded, we both seemed to contain numerous facial expressions at once.

“You’re so kind, Nyx. You don’t hate humans, do you? You understand, you love, and you pity their stupidity, right?”

I can’t answer no. They have been so hard on me, and yet I still love, miss and feel sorry for them even though I have been hurt so much under their hands.

If I could die and save the world, i would have died hundreds of times to relieve their anger. I thought so.

Evan, who was looking at me, bowed his head and trembled. I didn’t know if he was crying or laughing. And i couldn’t even confirm it. It was because he brought his head into my arms. I couldn’t push Evan out of my arms and just looked at him.

“The witch is not Nyx. We’re not monsters. It’s the world. You know that, right?”

Only Evan’s voice rang quietly.

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[1] t/n: she means that the deity can bless whomever and give them the ability to use god’s power.