I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

Clang!

His swordplay was clunky but his blows were heavy. 

Argh. 

With every block, my body was creaking and I was being pushed back. This wasn\'t looking good.

The crowd cheered and for the first time, I felt like I was going to lose. 

"It shames me that I cannot hold back while you\'re in this state, but such is life." Clyde held his saber over his head. "This is the end."

I didn\'t need his pity. I took a deep breath and waited. 

The blow came and connected solidly. I blocked and tried my best to push through but I was stuck. "No, this isn\'t!" I managed and kicked his legs. 

He didn\'t fall down but took steps back, with one leg. He grinned. "Now, that\'s more like it."

I took deep breaths and sheathed my saber. If I couldn\'t use the barrier then it was better to just stick with the sword. Strangely, Clyde didn\'t attack me during the sheathing process. I guess he wasn\'t that cowardly or maybe his leg wasn\'t that sturdy?

The sword burned brighter and the plasma turned yellow, as I grabbed it with of my hands and fed more radiation. I was leaking liters of sweat but I couldn\'t lose focus now. 

Clyde charged and this time, in between blocks and deflects I was attacking him. If I stayed on the defensive forever, I couldn\'t win and that was crystal clear. 

I could basically predict all his attacks, so dodging, blocking, and deflecting weren\'t an issue. But the thing was, this guy was fast!

Left swing!

Right swing!

Upward slash!

This guy really was fast. 

But that was his downfall: he was fast but too linear. I led him in, and when he made an effort to pierce me, I slid to his side and kicked his guts. "You\'re way too focused on the sword. Are you sure you\'ve used it before?"

He threw up a bit of blood and tried to cut me, I dodged and took a step back. I actually hadn\'t expected him to be this weak physically though. The guy had awesome powers but I guess his construction wasn\'t as solid as I thought. 

Meaning, I had a shot. 

But that was all, after all, I was basically at my limit. Even standing was kind of making me feel faint. Why did I ever bother doing this?

Was a pool of chocolate really that necessary?

\'There\'s no use complaining now.\' I started this and I had to finish this. I couldn\'t stop now. 

"Don\'t get too cocky now." He breathed heavy and an arc of electricity oozed out of him, while beams of concentrated light came at me like lasers. I couldn\'t dodge them, not with this speed. "I was saving it but, I can\'t hold anything back against you."

The electricity kind of paralyzed my feet and the lasers burned my skin: neither was powerful enough to damage me extensively. Besides, my healing capabilities were much better. 

He was aiming for my arms and legs. Clever guy. If he could incapacitate me, easy win. But he didn\'t know one thing: even with being stationary, I wasn\'t powerless. "I think you\'re forgetting about this." I threw a ball of hot plasma at him and immediately turned on my saber. 

He dodged to his side: the paralysis stopped. 

Totally expected. But I was still feeling faint. I had to end this quickly. I had to end this now!

I rushed for him, for the first time, and he tried to dodge the attack. And he did too. He followed it up by swinging his saber for my head. Too bad. I locked it with my saber and used my sword to attack again. He again dodged and jumped to his left: was left all he saw?

Bingo. 

"I\'d dodge this if I were you unless you want to make your condition permanent." I grinned and sent a bit of hot condensed air towards him. It had mild yellow color and it was basically just warm visible air. But that didn\'t mean the guy knew what it was, right?

"Shit!" he saw it coming but it was impossible to do anything midair- and so, he used the best of his power to change directions midair and he succeeded too: this guy just made the impossible, possible. But there was something else there: a barrier. He tried to attack the invisible barrier but promptly crashed into it, fell on the ground, and bleed through his nose. Only this time did I finally notice, this guy had a big nose. 

But I didn\'t stop and dumped a barrier over his head, trapping him beneath. 

"Well, give up I guess?" I held my sword and saber near his neck as he held his nose in his hand, bleeding a little. 

Both of my sword and saber went through the barrier. Could this thing let things pass if I willed it to? I\'d never tried it like this, but I guess, it was worth a shot. 

Talk about being convenient, though. 

"I\'m-I\'m not f-feeling It." he looked at me, barely containing his tears. And he was referring to his crotch, not nose. 

Did he forget he already had a condition?

Sigh. 

"Don\'t worry, I held back. You\'re good." Not to mention I didn\'t use radiation on him in the first place. 

"Really!?" He dropped his saber. "I give up!" I dropped the barrier, hearing that. Well, that was easy. But Clyde didn\'t stop, he got up and held my hand. "Brother!" He was glad. I could see it in his eyes. 

I\'d never seen someone be so glad while losing.

\'What have I done?\' I really felt bad for using this tactic and actually winning like this. 

Damn. 

But everything was fair in love and war, so, oh well. 

But wait, wasn\'t the match supposed to be vetted by the judges first? 

Dick clapped. "That was a spectacular match!" The crowd erupted in joy.  "As for the points!" Dick was speaking a bit too much like an announcer of sorts. Some sort of hobby I guess. 

"7& 7"

"7& 9"

"7& 5" The last one was the boss bunny. It didn\'t take a genius to know who she graded less. 

It didn\'t matter who got what points. "Wait, doesn\'t that make this a tie?" I was already feeling too faint, I did not want to have another go at this. 

"Those are actually pretty good numbers. With just one win, you passed nine contestants out of twenty-four. Meaning, you\'re at the bottom of the qualifying ones." Dick winked. 

The guy didn\'t even answer me. 

"Helio R. Jintel wins!" And then he proceeded to declare my victory. 

Apparently, if the points were tied, the one who actually won the battle would have won. 

Technically, even without winning one could have easily won the game if they could just impress the judges. It was stupid. 

Who the hell came up with this system? Seriously!

I sighed and turned my attention to somewhere else. "Tell me, what\'s his rank."

Angelmen had an enlightened look from the moment he knew he wasn\'t screwed, or rather his junk wasn\'t. To a point where he didn\'t even care about anything other than just to stare at the ceiling and smile. 

So I didn\'t bother to ask him, rather, I asked Dick. 

"He was first but with this, now he\'s second."

"Who\'s first now?"

"Margeretta Rodwich."

"Really?"

I guess this was worth it. Wait didn\'t that mean, I\'d basically have to fight everyone and even Clyde again if I wanted to fight Marg?

Argh….

I didn\'t even want to think about fighting anymore. My body ached and my head felt light: dizzy. 

But it was possible I\'d be able to fight Marg, before actually reaching the finals. 

Meaning, I didn\'t have to confront her. Why was I feeling glad about this all of a sudden?

So with a grin, I turned around and took a step. "I\'ll go back-"

But the ground whispered to me \'Oh helio- come lie down with me.\' It even sang to me!

I wasn\'t able to finish. 

And so, everything went black and I went to the land of dreams with the lovely not-soft-at-all ground. 

***

When I woke up, I was totally refreshed and back at the nurse\'s office. 

Judging by the color of the light, evening. 

\'When the hell would I not end up here!\'

I sat down, and everything was fine. My body moved fine and things didn\'t look that bad. So I climbed down, checked if the nurse was here or not. She wasn\'t. Perfect!

Run away!

"Where do you think you\'re going?"

And then I got caught before I could even take a single step.

  "Umm… To my room?"

"We need-" She paused. "To talk." 

"Later maybe." I proceeded to take another step, but the nurse grabbed my shoulder and pulled be back, locking the door in the process. Her grin was tarrying. 

\'Someone save me!\'

But alas! It was already too late.