I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

The same room, the same bed, the same people.

We were already done being treated just moments ago.

Why did we have to be here, what was even the meaning of life? Suffering?

Apparently, while lying down on the bed in the nurse\'s office, I was having an existential crisis. 

The reason?                                       

"SO, you\'re saying you won\'t get married now and would like to experiment first?" Mom asked the girl on the bed right next to mine.

She didn\'t even bat an eye at me, her own son!

Yeah, definitely an existential crisis. My disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. 

But then again my days were already ruined and these stinging wounds were the proof of that. I was wounded from both sides so I couldn\'t even lie down properly. Life was hell. And then there was the fact that once this painkiller runs out, I\'d be sorer than a stiff monkey!

There were five of us in here: Mom, Elsa, Marg, and the nurse in her seat. Marg had two or three Band-Aids while I was covered in bandages from head to toe. Though I did have pants, I didn\'t have a shirt on. 

Not that it mattered...

Marg stayed quiet for 

a minute. "If we get married now, and Helio falls in love with another girl but is limited to me and suffers because of that, then what?"

The question was basically aimed at me. Hadn\'t I made myself clear that I didn\'t have any intention to fall in love with other people? Then again, she was right, we couldn\'t ignore that possibility. 

After all, I was a guy, and I knew for a fact guys couldn\'t be trusted when it came to matters of the heart. I really wanted to believe in myself though. 

"I really like that idea!" Elsa was kind of excited. 

Damn you brat!

Mom sighed. "She\'s right you know. And though both your father and grandfather were pretty devoted-" Mom came close. "You know what happened to your father. And don\'t get me started on your grandfather," She whispered. 

My own mother didn\'t trust me. 

But yeah, she was right. My grandfather was loyal but, he also had flings. My father… well, that was self-explanatory. 

"So you\'re suggesting, we just stay friends?" My chest felt so tight, I felt like fainting. 

Then what the hell was the point of all that?

  "No, I\'m suggesting became lovers and start living together. See what it\'s like to live with someone else, see how infuriating it is, and see what sort of rage you can conjure up that has nowhere to go." Mom was smiling but yeah, she was definitely saying rather scary stuff while reminiscing about the past. 

Marg giggled. "I\'ve lived with my half-siblings so I think I can live with anyone at this point: at least I can manage those rages. What about you?"

Hey, living with half-siblings had nothing to do with this. Besides, her half-siblings weren\'t necessarily going to keep her up like me. And not to mention I got the feeling she already knew. And yet, just look at the smirking face. 

Mom giggled herself. "Well, if push comes to shove, you can just marry more girl\'s right? That would be legal and would also mean you won\'t be able to cheat on other girls. Problem solved?"

What the hell did this woman just suggest? 

And how was that problem solved? It only increased the problems!

"Yeah, that\'s a very good idea!" Again Elsa was just jumping around. 

What the hell was wrong with her? Even just an hour ago she was frowning and almost crying and now she was more excited than that day we went on a picnic. 

Something was definitely up. My sister couldn\'t possibly be this excited about me getting married: she had to be an imposter!

Mom too! She too had to be an imposter!

"I don\'t think-" I started but was promptly interrupted. 

Marg chuckled. "I\'ll take on any competition, bring it on!" 

\'So says the girl who rejected me three times already.\'

Wait, all three were imposters?

Was I an imposter too?

What the hell!

But no matter how I looked Marg\'s laugh did not look good to me: there was almost like… madness in that laugh. Where did that nonchalant girl go? Who was this?

Strangely, I started sweating. \'I didn\'t walk into another world, right?\'

"Hey, that\'s not fair, let\'s get along?" Something was seriously wrong with Elsa.

"As long as you remain his lovable little sister, we\'ll get along just fine." Marg smiled, she smiled way too hard. 

Wait, what the hell did that mean?

And why the hell was Elsa going pale all of a sudden?

And what\'s with those faces?

Something was wrong here. 

Mom sighed. "Well, rest up, we\'re leaving." Mom grabbed Elsa and dragged her out. "We\'ll talk later."

Elsa struggled but against our lord mother, she was powerless. \'Rest in peace sista-\'

Marg looked at me, smiled. 

I didn\'t know why but even lying down, my back straightened a little. 

Was it possible that I was bringing a mom 2.0 in my life?

\'Oh shit.\'

Too late now. I\'d chose this, so there was no point regretting any of this anyway. 

I just had to smile and accept it. 

***

Sometimes passed but there wasn\'t really that much talk between the two of us. I for once didn\'t know what to say. 

The disinfectant smell was kind of rubbing me the wrong way. Marg wasn\'t hurt that badly, meaning she was free to go, but she chose to stay.

It was already noon but here we were, still nothing to talk about. 

What was I supposed to say? How was I even supposed to start the conversation in the first place?

I started sweating. This was very nerve-wracking. The difficult part was behind us so why the hell was this making me nervous? 

My heart beat fast and my breathing became erratic. This was not good. 

"You know." But apparently, Marg was the one who started. I stopped freaking out and just listened. "I have a confession to make." I just looked at her. But she didn\'t look at me. Her gaze was on the ceiling. "That night, I might not have had feelings for you."

Well, that was something… and I wished she didn\'t tell me that. But I guess it was better we didn\'t build a relationship based on lies. "If I\'m being honest, it was the same for me. Though, I did like you from a long while back."

She smiled but still didn\'t look at me.. "At the time I thought it\'d be best to give my first to you, someone who didn\'t treat me like a tool."