The Decade of Deep Love

Zhishu He’s condition worsened. He had headaches and felt nauseous day after day. He was covered with bruises due to the subcutaneous hemorrhage.

Ziyu Ai didn’t even dare to touch him. His heart broke for He. Zhishu He didn’t want to trouble him, he just endured and said nothing no matter how painful he was.

It had become Ziyu Ai’s routine that he would sleep after watching Zhishu fell asleep. He was a light sleeper that would wake up because of the slightest movement. This day, he suddenly woke up finding Zhishu crying in his sleep. His forehead was covered with a thin layer of cold sweat. Whimpering quietly, he mumbled, “I... I felt so bad...”

All he did was mumble in his dreams even he was in so much pain. Just quit sucking everything up on your own. Ziyu Ai turned up the bedlight a little. He stroked Zhishu’s feeble back, “Good boy, I’m here... Don’t worry, it’ll end...”

Zhishu He grabbed at Ziyu by his waist. His tears damped his pajama, searing his skin. Zhishu He’s forehead was hot. He had a fever again in the middle of the night.

Ziyu Ai wanted to get him two cold wet towels but Zhishu hugged him even tighter the moment he had the tendency to leave. He shouted in a soft, poor tone, “Wenxu... Don’t go... Please...”

Ziyu Ai’s eyes were suddenly reddened; he gently petted Zhishu He’s back and said in a low voice, “No... I won’t go...” Ziyu Ai stared at Zhishu for a long time and he very carefully stroked aside his sweaty sticky hair, thinking to himself, ‘I deserve it.’

He didn’t feel aggrieved, angry or painful. All he had was the futile jealousy. He couldn’t decide who was in the depth of Zhishu’s heart and he didn’t want him to suffer. Ziyu Ai had no desire of taking anything from Zhishu He at the moment. As it had come to this far, he had nothing else to ask for; he just didn’t want him to regret.

Ziyu Ai woke up very early in the morning, he went downstairs to soak the beans as he’d like Zhishu to have fresh soybean milk as soon as he woke up.

Ziyu Ai stood in the kitchen blankly. He stayed up all night long, having nightmares once he closed his eyes. He saw the young Zhishu in his blue and white school uniform running to him; on one side of his cheek, there was his little dimple; his smile was clean and cute. Ziyu also smiled and opened up his arms trying to hug him but Zhishu ran straight past him into the ocean in a distance and sunk himself into the abyss.

It was a bad omen at any rate.

Ziyu Ai sighed; he took his cellphone out to check the date. One week later, it would be Zhishu’s birthday. How time flew.

While the cellphone was still in his hand, which suddenly rang. Ziyu glanced the number as he came to earth, ‘Wenxu Jiang again.’

He now felt calm towards this man. He’d better spend the time taking care of Zhishu, because he didn’t want to waste time on trifles.

“What do you want?”

Wenxu Jiang sounded weak and hoarse, “Is Zhishu with you?” He was now at the hospital, alcoholic poisoning plus the heart attack. Last night, Assistant Song was worried about him so he came to his house. He knocked on the door but no one answered. Luckily, he had the spare key, or else, Wenxu Jiang would be in real danger.

“He’s asleep,” Ziyu Ai couldn’t be bothered to waste his breath with him. He picked up the phone just because he didn’t want to receive endless calls from Jiang, “Speak or I’ll hang up.”

Wenxu Jiang couldn’t get through this tough time. He was weak both physically and emotionally, wanting company. He lay in bed thinking, ‘Zhishu must hurt one hundred times more than him in his chemotherapies but he was all alone. How long would he recover in the bed to be able to make his way home?’ The more he thought, he sadder he got. Wenxu Jiang even wished himself could suffer more because he could at least somewhat feel the pain Zhishu had been through.

He missed Zhishu so much. He couldn’t see Zhishu, but could only make phone calls. Not until he coughed for a while, did he manage to steady his breath. “Um... Could you let me listen? I won’t wake him up. I just... want to hear his breath.”

Ziyu Ai sneered; he could finally let out his emotions that he repressed since last night. “President Jiang, you disgust me very much. Are you putting on a bitter play here? Huh? Am I the wretched homewrecker in your play? Don’t you forget that you went out and found your lovers; you abandoned Zhishu He. What’s your charade here? I’d respect you if you could just give me him and wish us the best!” Yes... You abandoned him first but why did you leave a mark on his heart? Seriously... It can’t be a fair game.

“I’ll hang up then. Take good care of him.”

Ziyu wanted to smash the phone onto the ground but he controlled himself because the shouting Zhishu made in his dreams last night flashed in his mind. Love overcame jealousy.

Zhishu was still in sleep when he got upstairs, probably because the fever was just gone and he was very exhausted.

Ziyu Ai bent down and tucked Zhishu He in, took his phone out after a brief pause. He took a photo of Zhishu in sleep. The light was dark and the angle was bad. It was a lousy shot.

He sent the photo to Wenxu Jiang. He thought for a second and saved it on his phone.