Stranger's Handbook

“What’s with your attitude!? I am a glorious high elf! In the human countries, my household is treated as a marquis household!”

This is the second stupid elf I met today.

The one before made a fuss about how he was part of a ‘glorious household’ too.

“I am an archduke. By our awe-inspiring emperor’s imperial command, I came here as Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary. And you dare challenge me to a verbal argument.......Good, I’ll regard your entire household as an enemy to the empire. Go home and polish your weapons.”

“You-you alone have the authority to do that!?”

“As I said, the emperor authorized me to do this. Oi, we’re going back. Make sure to give him the letter, all right?”

“As you wish, master. High elf-dono? With regards to your marquis household, this is a proclamation of war letter from the empire. Please choose whether you’ll apologize with your head or we’ll start an all-out war.”

Suu gave the signal and the maids’ unit equipped with bardiches entered the room.

It was Bea’s idea that ladies should fight with a bardiche.......so, this became the official weapon of the maids’ unit.

‘Now that we have the same weapon, it’s not strange for me to use it.’

Bea told me smiling, but I don’t believe it was like that......

But because I am scared of her, I didn’t tell her this.

“Sigh, I never expected to encounter only idiots up to now.”

“Yes.....Perhaps they don’t understand the meaning of an ambassador.”

Furthermore, the elf who made a fuss about his glorious household was beaten full of holes by the maids’ unit and taken away.

Since I am the main figure of this whole action, it’s not like I want to quarrel with these people.

However, I have no other choice but respond to those who pick a fight with me.

That’s because I can’t be silent about them looking down on the empire.

“My decision is the empire’s decision. I never thought that nobles who don’t even understand this would come forth. Is it because they’re an isolated country......?”

“I am completely shocked, but it can’t be helped. If they look down on us to such an extent, there’s nothing we can do but retort.”

Looking down on the archduke means picking a fight with me.

Looking down on the ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary means going at war with the empire.

That’s because the emperor trusted me with all the diplomatic affairs.

Well, I am the representative of his majesty after all.

“It’s ridiculous when peace fools end up like this......Our empire looks kind of cute right now.”

“Even the blockhead nobles in the imperial capital are a bit more decent.”

With a beautiful smile, Suu spits out poisonous words.

However, she prepares the tea with a perfect conduct.

.......Why is it that my vassals all seem to have something broken inside them?

“And, did I receive an invitation from the prime minister yet?”

“I hear that they want to prepare a welcome banquet concomitantly with the wedding ceremony......But aren’t they actually doing some secret maneuvering?”

Normally, there should be a welcoming banquet for the ambassador, but they didn’t hold any so far.

In this case, I thought that the prime minister would come in person to meet me......

“Well, I’m grateful that this way we have more time to gather information and make our own schemes. We have many advantages......but I don’t know what they’re plotting.”

“The people in the intelligence unit were very happy that they had genuine work to do. Let’s wait for their report.”

That is certainly the most important thing right now.

I nodded and continued to enjoy my tea.

“Your excellency! This is bad news, your excellency!”

“Albert, don’t come in from the window.”

“Onii-sama, your manners are way too bad.”

My elegant tea time ended with a thunderous roar.

Clouds of dust scattered around and the room fell apart, but I didn’t care.

A dragon crashed into it after all.......I’m actually glad it ended with only this.

“You are Bea’s guard. What are you doing here?”

“As I said, your excellency, it’s an emergency!! When we were on our way back home, we met a messenger who told us that Katalina collapsed.......”

“I see. That’s why onii-sama rode a dragon here to deliver the message.......Master, please take Kachua-sama with you and hurry back home. That junky sister’s healing abilities are first-class. If this message came our way even though the sister lives on our domain......there’s a high possibility that master’s healing magic and the elves’ knowledge is needed.”

Suu interrupted Albert and informed us in a quick manner of speaking.

She’s right. This might be the best course of action, and it’s not like I have the time to worry about what to do anyway.

“Albert, you stay here. You will follow Suu’s orders and you will protect Tsubaki and Mars. Suu, you are allowed to evacuate if you conclude it is necessary, and you’re also allowed to act heartlessly if needed. All right?”

“Yes sir!”

“As you wish, master. Please leave it to us.”

The heartless way.......It’s our final measure and it includes using the dragons.

They will create a circle and place Suu and everyone else on my side inside it, then they will use their breaths to wipe everything out.

This castle will vanish in a mere instant.

I do believe that the situation won’t turn up this way though......

I left everything else in Suu’s care and walked towards Kachua’s place.

Because it was an emergency, I was in my battle mode, employing my entire magic power.

“Kachua-dono, please. Accompany me on a walk.”

“Ar-archduke-dono? All right, all right. Please restrain that magic power now! The maids will collapse!”

She was probably about to take a bath, since I caught Kachua in the process of taking off her outer garments.

She wasn’t naked though. She wore something like a tube top and a skirt.

But, a tube top without strings?

How comes it stays fixed?

Half forcefully I took her along to where the dragons were and placed her on top of one.

It’ll be all right if I explain her what happened now.

Since Suu will explain things to Tsubaki and son-in-law-dono, it shouldn’t become too much of a disturbance.

“I’m sorry, Kachua-dono. The truth is this is an emergency.....”

I explained her the situation on top of the dragon.

She understood that this was a matter of life and death for one of my subordinates, and she started to speak, wearing a smile on her face.

“Hohoho, you plunged into my room exhibiting such a magic power and wearing such a threatening face.......I believed you had your reasons, but I didn’t expect it to be this. Really now, you’re such a threatening person.”

“I’m sorry.......I needed your knowledge, the knowledge of an elder elf, no matter what.”

The loli baba, wearing a tube top, turned around slowly.

“Archduke-dono. You will stop calling me an elder. I want you to call me Kachua......Before it all turns into an accident.”

“Kachua-dono, you’re wearing such a lovely outfit. It looks very good on you......it increases your loveliness and I believe you look even more charming.”

Since the atmosphere became turbulent, I had to praise her clothes and her cuteness.

It was outstandingly effective!

“I know, right? This is a truly elven secret art, infused with our best technologies! It is the latest model too!”

“Hoo.....Even though it doesn’t have any strings, it doesn’t show any signs of slipping off.......Don’t tell me......that this is one of the elves’ secret arts!?”

“I expected you to notice that. All the tops I wear, they usually come off.

But this one is all right!! To be frank with you, the secret art is.......”

Well, obviously they come off since they must stuck on an invisible chest.

I thought about this as the old loli explained me joyfully.

If your country uses its secret arts on something like this, your country is about to face its end......

We descended the dragon; Kachua was now in an extremely good mood.

We arrived at my domain in just a few hours, but I was already worn-out......

As we landed inside my courtyard, the maids’ unit called out to me.

“Please hurry! Lord Katalina......Not even the sister knows the cause of her collapse.....”

Sobbing, the maids led us to Katalina’s private room.

Her face was red and she was moaning in her sleep. All the top brass members of my household were present.

“We used observation magic and it’s not an illness. Also, healing magic is not effective.”

Media explained us the situation.

We had no time to extend our greetings right now.

I rushed over to Katalina and used my observation magic, but she was indeed not ill.

“This.....I’ll use healing magic.”

I prayed for her to return to her healthy and energetic self as I employed the entirety of my magic power.

However, Katalina’s facial expressions didn’t change........

“This is!? If even his excellency’s healing magic is useless.......”

Media crumbled down to her knees, her sobbing voice resounding in the room. That’s when Kachua slowly opened her mouth.

“Dear me! Youngsters nowadays......don’t even know something as simple as this.”

All the attention gathered on Kachua, who actually looked the youngest of us all.

This old hag, does she know something?

“Tell me, Kachua-dono! I want to save my subordinate! Please, I’m begging you.”

I didn’t care about appearances right now.

My domain would be brought to its knees without Katalina around.

I earnestly requested her help, prostrating myself in front of her, not feeling even one bit of regret.

“Wha!? What are you doing, archduke!? I’ll tell you, so please stop!”

Extremely flustered, she took my hand and made me stand up; the old hag then continued.

“Her mating season aggravated!!”

“ “ “ “ “.........Ha?” “ “ “ “

Mating season?.......Aggravated?........Is that so?.......