I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

At night.

The moonlight was shining serenely.

At Taoran Pavilion\'s East Gate.

A car slowly drove into the district and parked in the garage of Old Wu\'s villa. When the car door opened, Zhang Ye and Wu Zeqing got out and entered the house. The first floor\'s living room was no longer like before. It was now decorated with red everywhere. There were even lanterns and the characters of "double happiness" put up as well. It really did look like a newlywed\'s house.

After changing into a pair of slippers.

And taking off the tuxedo jacket.

Zhang Ye slumped onto the sofa, dead tired.

"Aiyo, I can\'t move anymore."

"That\'s because you were entertaining everyone whenever they offered you a toast."

"Hai, I was just feeling really happy."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, please."

"Alright, wait while I boil some water."

"Old Wu, should I buy a house?"

"There\'s no need. Isn\'t it fine to live here?"

"But now that we\'re married, it\'s doesn\'t feel right to live here."

"Then what are we going to do with this place? Leave it empty?"

"Yeah, leave it empty."

"Hur hur, that would be such a waste."

"Alright, we\'ll talk about it again in the future."

The water boiled.

Wu Zeqing made a cup of tea for him. "It\'s hot; let it cool first."

Zhang Ye laid there happily and said in satisfaction, "My wife is the best. Getting married is really too tiring. It\'s completely unlike what I\'ve watched on TV. Look at what those Chinese weddings are like. They just bow to the Heavens and to Earth, then to the parents, then to each other, and off they go to the bridal chamber. But look at us. Where\'s the bridal chamber? We spent the entire day entertaining the guests and were kept busy throughout the wedding without end. Actually, this bro has been looking to go home since a long time ago."

"Then turn in early."

"Old Wu, I\'m hungry."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Some hot soup noodles is enough."

"Alright."

Finally, there were only the two of them left.

Zhang Ye\'s eyes started misbehaving again. Wu Zeqing had already changed back into her own clothes. She was dressed in a gold qipao with a thin sweater and looked especially gentle in it. Looking at her doing the chores around the house, Zhang Ye felt his heart grow warmer. He looked at his watch and realized it was only 8 PM.

Wu Zeqing smiled. "Head upstairs first. I\'ll bring it up when it\'s done."

Zhang Ye stayed put. "I\'m not moving unless you give me a kiss."

"I\'m cooking. I\'ll do that later," Old Wu said.

"You can always cook after you\'ve kissed me," Zhang Ye said.

In the end, Old Wu came over with a smile. Slightly bending her legs wrapped in nude stockings, she arched over with her untied hair sprawling onto his face and kissed his lips.

"Is that good enough?"

"Again."

"How\'s that then?"

"Again."

"I\'ve already kissed you thrice."

"Alright, I\'ve finally regained some strength!"

"Hur hur, go upstairs and wait for the noodles then."

Zhang Ye walked upstairs and opened the door to the master bedroom.

Two days ago, his mother packed and brought over his luggage along with some daily necessities. After all, he was going to settle in for the long haul, so he had to have everything prepared. As such, Zhang Ye\'s slippers and pajamas were all here as well. He nimbly changed into his pajamas and then rushed to sit down at the computer since there was nothing to do. He turned on the computer and shouted downstairs.

"Old Wu, let me use your computer."

Old Wu\'s voice came from below. "Go ahead."

Zhang Ye rubbed his hands together and started checking Weibo on the web browser. At times, he would laugh out loud, curse at something, or mumble to himself, like he was suffering from somniloquy 1 .

"Damn, who\'s scolding me!"

"Haha, go ahead and be jealous!"

"Yes, yes, that\'s exactly how awesome this bro is!"

"What? The Top Chinese Music Chart has been conquered by me? Beautiful!"

"What? You guys have never seen a graph of a heart before? Well, that\'s true. It\'s high tech from my previous world, so of course none of you would have seen it before."

"The bridal gown design was beautiful, wasn\'t it? Y\'all have great taste!"

Be it the online news or the comments from the people, Zhang Ye was finally free to browse them. Most of them were messages of blessings and reactions of amazement that made Zhang Ye\'s gratification burst at its seams. He was overjoyed to know how he must have reaped eight lifetimes of blessings to be able to marry such a beautiful wife. As such, this fellow wanted the whole world to know about it too. He even wished that he could stand atop the Tiananmen Tower and use a megaphone while holding Old Wu in his arms to tell them that she was his wife. Usually, he preferred to stay low-key. But this time, he was really enjoying the limelight. Look at this popularity, look at these discussions, look at all these looks of envy!

Footfalls approached.

When Old Wu came upstairs, Zhang Ye was still foolishly laughing to himself.

"What are you laughing about?" Old Wu said with a smile.

Zhang Ye spiritedly pointed to the screen and said, "Look, they\'re all so envious of me. Our wedding has bombarded the entire country several times over, and it\'s even slowly spreading to Asia. My popularity will definitely rise again, and I think it will rise by a lot too. Well, whatever, let\'s not care about that for now. It can rise however much it likes, and we can talk about getting to the S-list afterwards too. I don\'t care about all of that. I just want to spend my time with you and have our honeymoon together first. Everything else can wait for later."

Old Wu placed down two bowls of piping hot noodles.

"Let\'s eat the noodles first."

"You\'re hungry too?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let\'s eat together."

"How many days did you take off from work?"

"Me? I\'ll plan mine according to your schedule."

"I applied for seven days off."

"Only seven?"

"There\'s still a lot of work at the office, so it\'s already pretty good that I could get seven days off."

"Sure, I\'ll take seven days\' break from work too then."

With many slurps, the big bowls of piping hot soup noodles were finished. It felt very nice eating them.

When he finished, Zhang Ye looked at Old Wu eagerly and asked, "Are you sleepy yet?"

Wu Zeqing smile and said, "Not really?"

Zhang Ye gave a hollow laugh and said, "But we should still go to bed soon."

Old Wu looked at her watch. "Sleep? Now?"

"Yes." Zhang Ye was restless. "We\'ve been busy all day, so let\'s hurry and get some rest. And besides that, we still haven\'t gotten to the serious business."

Wu Zeqing smiled and said, "OK."

Zhang Ye said excitedly, "Then I\'ll go and shower first?"

Old Wu said, "Alright, you go first."

"I can\'t wait." Zhang Ye had already stood up. He said, "I\'ll go over to the guest room to shower; you can take the master bedroom\'s shower. Let\'s meet back here when we\'re done."

In the guest bedroom.

In the shower.

This fellow only took three minutes to finish showering. Zhang Ye swore that he had never showered so quickly before in his life. He shampooed his head, applied some body wash, and brushed his teeth, almost doing all of it concurrently. But all that was still not enough to stop him from humming. His movements were really robust and nimble. This fellow had even resorted to using his Taiji Fist basics in here. With a quick shake of the face towel in his hand, his body was dry. This was indeed a case of a minute\'s brilliant performance onstage being attributed to ten years\' of practice off it.

Why did he practice martial arts so hard for?

Why did he practice Taiji Fist so hard for?

It had been all for this moment of efficiency!

But by the time Zhang Ye had put on his bathrobe and rushed back to the master bedroom, he discovered that Wu Zeqing had not even finished taking off her clothes. She had just removed her stockings and was about to place them onto the end of the bed.

"Why aren\'t you showering?"

"I\'m already done."

"So quickly?"

"Yeah!"

Wu Zeqing laughed. She stood up with her back facing Zhang Ye and said, "Just in time. The buttons on the back are difficult to undo. Why don\'t you help me with it?"

Zhang Ye stared straight at it. Without any hesitation, he said, "Sure, leave it to me!"

Quickly and easily, he undid all of them!

Old Wu said, "Hur hur, slowly."

Zhang Ye said, "I can\'t be slow!"

It\'s about efficiency!

Efficiency, my comrade!