Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Evan let go of her and sat on the floor nearby. His face was still, but his eyes shone with anticipation.

Evin followed suit. The two who could not be heard or seen or felt, silently watched the woman die from the poison. At least thanks to the liquid she inhaled, she didn\'t need to suffer through the pain. 

Evin wondered if Layla would turn into a spirit like Evan hoped. 

"How long is it going to take her to die in the first place?" he wondered audibly.

\'I hope it takes at least a few hours… At least I don\'t have to receive Evan\'s memories anymore…\'

Evin sat on the floor, regretting his decisions. He should not have taken Twelve\'s offer to go through Endra\'s past. 

What did he expect? A heroic story of the cynical man trying his best to get transported to another world? The life of a playboy billionaire, who spent his entire life in luxury and pleasure?

It was Endra. Of course it was going to suck. How else would someone end up with such a shitty personality?

\'But… Evan\'s still not close to becoming Endra.\'

How long was he trapped in this place? 

Evin was already tired of the experience. He felt weak, thinking that he wasn\'t even able to witness Endra\'s life as strings of information. He felt like he was throwing a tantrum, like a child who refused to read a book.

And the worst part was, he was only going through this for a few days at most. Some scenes took up a long time, and although the information came in at a rapid pace, it still contained countless details.

After all, it was describing a person\'s entire life. The last surge of it was especially bad, with most of the information describing a terribly bleak time for Evan. 

\'Sigh… If I\'m acting like this after a few days, how was it like for Endra himself?\' he wondered.

He stole a glance at the haggard Evan, whose whole body reeked of dried sweat and rancid dirt, and decided that it was pretty bad. 

Evin smiled wryly. "Shit."

\'What\'s the point of me seeing this in the first place?\'

"Twelve said… what did she say again? She said it wasn\'t needed for me to see these memories, but there was something else she said… Ah, it was only to sate my curiosity."

"Shit," Evin cursed. 

Sighing, he lied on the floor. 

"Well, at least I know why he\'s so damn desperate to separate and live his own life," he murmured. "I\'d probably also get pissed if I lived as a spirit for who knows how long and then found myself in some baby\'s head."

He giggled. 

"It\'s probably be the same for you, eh?" he then said, looking at Evan. 

The latter did not respond.

It dawned on Endra, what he was doing.

\'Fuck, I\'m going crazy.\'

He got up, shook his head, and started thinking of other things to distract himself.

His eyes fell on Layla. 

Despite how he acted, he sympathized with the woman a lot. He himself went through a lot during the first few weeks after he had his foot cut off. All sorts of thoughts had filled his head back then. If his pain did not subside, he was sure he\'d think of ending his life, instead of suffering like that day in and day out.

\'Suicide, huh…\' Evin frowned. 

It felt like it only now dawned on him that someone died right next to him. Even though he watched it happen in front of him, he felt so emotionless somehow. Perhaps he acted like this because he knew it wasn\'t real. Well, it was real, since it did happen, but it happened ages go.

But even so, he should at least feel something, right?

\'There\'s something wrong with me…\' he frowned again.

Maybe he was feeling like this because of his experience these past few days, bereft of any hint of hope and bliss… constantly bombarded by the crushing past of Endra. Perhaps it was natural he\'d go numb with all this gloom surrounding him. 

\'What is the point of all this?\' he couldn\'t help but wonder again.

"Kah-k\'!"

Layla started choking. 

Her body convulsed all over the bed, her expression distorting with each shudder. Evin could only hope she was still unconscious. Soon, she stopped struggling and her breathing stopped.

Evan got up next to him and observed Layla\'s body intently. 

Then, his expression shifted into shock.

"Layla?" the man uttered and ran next to the body.

Evan moved as if he was holding someone in his hands… but in Evin\'s eyes, nothing was happening.

"Layla!" Evan shouted with tears in his eyes! "Are you confused? D-don\'t worry I\'ll explain everything to you!"

Hope and excitement filled Evan\'s voice.

Evin could only grimace at the scene, realizing what was happening. Evan was obviously hallucinating. 

\'This is hard to watch…\' he thought to himself. 

He worried for Evan, wondering how long the spirit could keep the illusion going. And what would happen at the end of it all, when he realized that everything was a lie.

But Evin\'s fears turned out to be unneeded, as a tone of desperation appeared in Evan\'s voice.

"Layla? What\'s happening to you?"

Evan\'s hands scrambled in the air. It was as if he was trying to collect someone\'s scattered pieces back together.

"Nononononono… noooo...!" Evan started wailing.

\'This is fucking worse, isn\'t it?\' Evin muttered. \'This gives him hope…\'

Without realizing that he was just hallucinating, how long would Evan cling to this hope dangling in front of him? Seeing Layla turning into a spirit, he would endlessly chase dead people, hoping to chance upon a spirit that can stay in the world of living like himself.

Evin bit his lips, looking at the mad spirit crying on the floor.

Slowly, the scene started to fall apart. Feeling like shit once again, Evin was brought back to the state where he endlessly received information about Endra\'s past. 

"Fucking stop!" he shouted, despite himself. 

"Let me out! I\'ve seen enough!"

He was ready to scream until his voice was coarse, but the stream of memories he was expecting did not appear. 

His consciousness was pulled at again, and he woke up in the World of Souls. 

Confused, he looked around and found Endra playing with an eerie looking knife in his hands.