Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

… Castor came to see me an hour earlier than usual today.

“I am Castor Dje Kaltanias. Do you know me?”

I slowly bowed my head without even seeing his face since I had already been terribly bored of his introduction. I looked at the neat designs decorating the sandals.

“Yes.”

When I glanced sideways, the white layers of his clothes fluttered like waves.

In the past, when I first met him, I thought I was dealing with someone I could never win. I had always fallen down at his feet and trembled like a shrunken piece of radish.

Cold sweat would stick to my skin whenever he walked past, just as what the maids had told me before. In front of death itself, I became a beggar who would not hesitate to plead for her life.

Death had always stood as a backdrop in my daily life. I either died under Castor’s blade or in my own hands.

‘It’s blinding.’

The palace was still white under the sun but all I could see was the blood-stained landscape. Remembering the droplets of blood getting stuck in my hair, I wet my lips.

‘If I can’t even change the fact that I died, then it would be better for me to do everything I wanted before I die again.’

I thought about the lines I had practised last night and raised my head.

“Hello?”

I had been waiting for him to speak first but I could not stand the silence.

“We welcome the First Child of the Empire.”

Only then did I see the face that had been haunting my palace.

His emotionless eyes reminded me of the times I would drench myself with cold sweat upon seeing them. When I closed my eyes, I could hear everything clearly. I could hear the nervous breaths of the dozens of people lining up behind me. If I failed, these were the people dying with me. My fist felt heavier than ever.

“Are you looking for me?”

“If I am?”

What will happen this time? Would this work? Or would this end miserably as per usual?

“It’s our honor for such a noble man to grace the Terena Palace with his presence.”

I raised my head and closed my eyes.

“What brought my brother to such a squalid place?”

“… Brother?”

He swept his hair up and looked down. A subtly sweet fragrance lingered around the tip of my nose. While wearing a golden laurel as his crown and robes that matched, he was filled with a sense of grandeur and magnificence that ordinary people would not dare to imitate. His gaze was languid and he looked bored but I did not know when that was going to change.

But now that I have gotten used to it because of my previous regressions, I could deal with him calmly.

Now that I was immune to fear, I smiled.

“Yes! Brother!”

Castor looked at me before parting his lips elegantly.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to come!”

As I acted calmly in front of the Crown Prince who would not hesitate to cut me down, I could feel the gazes of his knights or soldiers looking at me as if I was a crazy person. I could understand that reaction since they had worked for this madman and had seen everything that he did.

But I still opened my eyes wide and looked at him innocently. Castor slowly crept up to my face.

While he looked relaxed, my mind boggled at his dry voice.

“… You, name?”

“I am Ashley Rosé Auresia Kaltanias.”

My voice was as clear as spring water. I remembered the tone I had when my friend brought me to work part-time at a call center to earn money. I continued brightly.

“Call me Ashley, brother!”

I laughed sunnily.

“… Right, that’s the name. I thought I would’ve completely forgotten but I remember you..”

It might have been shocking to see me talk like this but Castor’s breaths remained steady and he made no other movements.

Was it of no use? As he grumbled, he got up and walked neither slowly or quickly towards me.

Then, a deep fragrance struck my nose. I had retreated back in surprise but Castor caught me. His outstretched hand grabbed my shoulder as if they were a crocodile’s jaw . I could feel his breath right next to my ear.

“Ashley Rosé, I’ll remember you.”

“T-thank you!”

His laughter was lifted by the winds.

“How can you be so confident with those trembling lips of yours?”

“…..”

“You’re not very good at lying, are you?”

Castor whispered languidly as my throat tightened. He was the type to act on their animalistic instincts so he could easily detect fear and any other negative emotions. I had heard his voice countless times in my nightmares and fantasies.

‘No, he’s wrong.’

I could tell he misunderstood. This was the perfect opportunity.

“You’re scared.”

I tilted my head and widened my eyes, looking at him as naive as a child seeing a stranger for the first time.

“Why do you think I’ll be scared of my own brother?”

I raised my eyebrows as I continued to stare at him.

“So, you say that you’re not scared. Then there’s no reason for you to be afraid, right?”

I was not afraid of him. I just wanted to end this hellish repetition and get a concrete answer as to whether or not I live or die.

‘I just resent you.’

I could not count the number of times I had to bury my face in the ground to hide my anger.

“Would you say that even when I peel off your skin and cut your limbs off before killing you?”

“Uhm, that’s pretty scary… But why would you? There’s no reason for you to kill me.”

He slowly moved away which gave me space to breathe. Upon closer look, I realised he took a step back to observe my expressions. His eyes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly hovering over grass before saying cheerfully.

“Ah, how did you know? You’re absolutely right!”

“…..”

“Hehe. It was simple. I’m just really clever. Nanny, what snacks did you make today? If you were really trying to kill me, you would’ve just sent anyone to come and kill me. You wouldn’t have come here yourself, right?! Oh my, come to think of it, that would be pretty scary. Uhm, but what do you call them? Your envoys? Priests?”

I tilted my head before smiling brightly.

“Anyway, my brother’s very busy and could’ve just sent his knights to come find me. Ah, is that person brother’s knight as well? The Duke Develo?”

The white-haired man gave a smile that was as warm as a blanket when we met eyes and bowed his head.

“Yes, I am Hernandez Von Develo. I greet the Empire’s sole flower.”

“Oh my. How cool!”

I acted shyly in front of the Duke whom I had met dozens of times now. Pretending to be excited, I glanced at Hannah.

Hannah had always been the first to die. She was a sacrificial lamb who had suffered countlessly. So, even though my conscious had thinned to a sheet, I could still feel the burden of my guilt weighing down on me.

At the far end of the hall, Hannah was blinking her eyes and staring at me as if she was watching an independence fighter fail in their duty. ‘Has my lady become a moth attracted to power?’ was what I interpreted her eyes to be saying.

I could not say that I was not sucking up to him but that was not my true intention. So, I smiled again and looked at Hernandez.

“What a handsome knight. Is he the only handsome and good-looking knight in the Central Palace?”

“It’s my honour to hear that from you.”

In <The Light of Rusbella>, he was someone who had never done anything against Castor’s will. It was as if he was born to follow his orders. This was why Castor was not used to trying to understand the hardships and excuses of his subordinates.

If Rusbella had not appeared, he would have never loved anyone in his life. He would have also become indifferent and ignorant of anything unrelated to power.

“When I first heard my brother, the 1st Prince, was coming, I wondered why he was coming to see me. So, I spent 30 minutes waiting here.”

It took hours of practise and dozens of regressions for me to look at him straight and address him directly.

I knew what Castor liked, cherished and loved.

Now, I could do this.

“I would’ve normally held it on but I was too curious.”

“About what?”

“The reason behind your visit today.”

I gave him an eye smile.

“You’re here to see me, right? Did you come to praise me?”

Castor raised his eyebrows.

“Praise?”

“Yes!”

I added on, “I’ve been working so hard to become the epitome of what a lady should be and to be honest with you, I am a little prettier than others around my age,” acting like a vain and immature girl.

I also talked about the lessons I attended with my brothers which no one asked for. Seriously, I talked for an admirable amount of time.

“Honestly, it was pretty fun too. Am I prettier than others around my age? I want to use my looks more. But I don’t like being pretty and stupid. So I started attending lessons with my older brothers!”

He must have not been expecting a girl who would talk nonstop in front of him. Who would dare speak to him so casually like this?

There would have been no one around him who could look directly into his eyes other than his rival, Hernandez. Right, he actually had no one to talk to. I was sure that was the reason he would play and talk with the people he was about to kill.

“What were you going to do about your brilliant achievement in learning with the 6th and 7th Princes?”

“Huh? That’s… My teacher said that one day he was going to talk to my father about me if I do well in class!”

Indeed, he responded with a smile that was different from the previous regressions.

“Then, I suddenly thought, if I work hard in classes, will my father come to see me one day? Oh my god! And the brothers I had never seen before might visit me too! You don’t know how much I want to see my older brothers. I am good at studying and I’m quite smart too so I managed to pick up Kwarab! Isn’t that amazing? I even know how to count to double digits!”

The one who first burst into laughter was the Duke who had been watching without a word till now.

A face of pure joy was painted on Hernendez’s face. Then, as if trying to hold his laughter in, he grabbed his stomach and turned his head around. I pretended as if I could not see the Duke and looked up at Castor. He was grinning and folding his arms. There was a dangerous glow on his pale face.

“Right, is it that interesting?”

“Yes! But now that I’ve started, it’s too…”

“Too?”

Then, I bit my lips.

“Boring. It’s making me fall asleep.”

I muttered my nonsense calmly and nonchalantly.

‘Did he fall for it?’

Castor was crafty and his snake-like personality had been proven more than once. So, I knew for myself that this was not enough.

Let us add some more spice.

When the time was right, I lowered my voice.

“Brother, I have something to ask you…”

“…..”

“I’m a princess, aren’t I? I have to be kind and work hard so that one day I can help my father and my brothers but my teacher keeps saying weird things…”

I looked at my toes and dragged my words. As soon as he noticed, Castor nodded his head as if he was gesturing to me to continue.

“He wondered if I was really needed in this Empire.”

I said as if I was really sad before pausing and looking at him in the eye.

“He said that if I was useless, His Majesty would come to kill me and get rid of me. Is that right?

Whether I was threatening him, persuading him or tempting him, it all started with eye contact. I took a 3 second break to act like I was nervous before I continued.

“My father’s not the kind of person to kill innocent people.”

If he wanted to kill me again this time, he should just go ahead. But if he killed me, then that would mean he was the same as the Emperor whom he hated so much.

I knew what he did not like from the novel and what I had experienced dozens of times.

‘The Crown Prince hates the Emperor. No, he loathes him.’